


Wonder Eyes

by fairydelight



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Accidents, Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Anxiety, Bed-Wetting, Cuddling & Snuggling, Diapers, Fluff and Angst, Food Issues, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Lullabies, Medication, Mentions of trafficking, Nightmares, Non-Sexual Age Play, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PLEASE HEED TAGS, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Self-Harm, Some internalized ableism, Therapy, Thumb-sucking, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2019-12-26 17:31:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 31,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18286973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairydelight/pseuds/fairydelight
Summary: Steve and Bucky are caregivers looking to take an age regressor in. Wanda Maximoff might seem like a weird choice, but she also might be exactly what they're hoping for.





	1. Chapter 1

“Are you nervous?” 

Of course he is. How could he not be? Steve glances out of the car window at the large brick building they’ve parked in front of. The doors are open, and underneath a large, brightly painted welcome banner, other prospective caretakers are pouring in. People who are looking, hoping, dreaming. 

Just like him. 

“Yeah,” he admits, “But you are too, aren’t you?” 

Bucky nods. He’s been so excited about this and Steve knows it — up late getting a room ready for the little they’re going to take home, reading books on how to prepare, completely overcome with joy at the idea of getting that perfect little one to take care of. 

But now that they’re here, Steve can see the hesitancy in his eyes just a little bit. Self-doubt. 

“We’re just…seeing if they might have someone who’s a good fit,” he reminds him gently, “Right? It’ll be fine.” 

“I know. I just keep thinking about how there’s such a good chance that they’re all gonna hate us. Or that we’ll realize we really aren’t good at being caregivers. Or you know, maybe we’ll get hit with an asteroid.” 

“Unlikely, unlikely, and very improbable. Bucky.” Steve takes his hand, “You and I are ready for this. Okay? We’ve done all the reading, we got approved, we’re ready. If the asteroid thing happens there’s really nothing I can do, but I promise that you’re just being stupid.” 

Bucky grins, “You know, one of the reasons I keep you around is so you can call me stupid when I need it.” 

“Always here for you.” He takes a deep breath. “Ready?” 

Bucky is as ready as he’ll ever be, so he nods and says yes. Because they could probably just turn around right now, change their minds and go home, but he doesn’t want to. Not even a little bit.

 

It’s a process to get approved as caregivers. Filling out forms, long interviews, waiting periods…with everything it takes, it’s hard to believe that there are littles who end up with people that most definitely shouldn’t be caregivers, but Steve knows it happens. Any one of the kids waiting for them in that big, brick building could potentially go somewhere where they won’t be taken care of. So he’s determined to be the best caregiver he can be. 

_I’m ready. We’re ready._

There’s a woman there at the front of the building to help sign them in. Her hair is pulled back tightly into a ponytail and her gray pinstriped suit is rumpled, with a coffee stain at the bottom of her skirt. The man standing next to her, who looks far more put together, introduces himself as Len, a caseworker. 

“Just come find me if you think you’ve found a good match for your family and we’ll get to details,” he tells them, “I think you’ll find there are a lot of littles who might fit in well with you.” 

“Thanks,” Steve looks around, already noticing a few people smiling and talking with littles who already seem to be connecting with them so well. He worries, for a fleeting moment, that that might not happen for him and Bucky. “Do they all live here?” 

Len sighs and rubs his forehead. “Some of them have come in from other temp homes, but most of them live here, yes. You know, obviously this is just a halfway point to them finding permanent families, but it’s not always that simple. A few of them have been…more or less returned or abandoned after the caregivers realized that they couldn’t handle it. So we do hope that you’re sure this is what you want to do.” 

Steve feels a jolt go through him, quelled only by Bucky grabbing his hand once again and squeezing it, silently letting him know what he needs to hear. 

_That’s not us. I promise._

 

The regressors range from “big kids,” chatting with each other to little ones who excitedly show off their brightly scribbled drawings peppered with glitter and fake feathers that are hanging on otherwise dreary walls. Steve stops to look at them, reaching out to touch a piece of decorated construction paper. “I don’t know how to do this. Do we just go up to them?” 

“Sure. Just say something like, ‘Hey kid, I know you’ve literally never met us before, but how ‘bout you drop everything so we can adopt you?’ That’s probably how this is supposed to work.” 

Steve rolls his eyes. “You’re not helping.” 

“I know, I know. Look. Steve, we talked about this. You’re freaking out and I get it, but…look. They’re not gonna hurt ya. Just go say hi to one of them. It’s easy. Look.” He stops a boy with a nametag reading Matt passing by them. “Hey, buddy. What’s up?”

“I just ate glue!” The boy shouts with a maniacal laugh before running away, leaving Bucky staring after him with a facial expression of shock and mild amazement. 

“See? The kid just ate glue. He’s an artist. You guys would get along great.” 

“You mess up my supplies enough on your own, don’t you think?” 

“Okay, the paint spilling thing was one time and we got it out of the carpet before it was too late so there’s no need to keep bitching about it.” 

A few people nearby threw Bucky a glare, and he winces. “Language. Right.” 

“Come on,” Steve takes his arm, trying not to laugh. “I don’t think we’re making the best impression.” 

 

It’s been hours. Steve is drained, emotionally, physically, in every sense. They’ve talked to a few of the regressors, watched other caregivers happily go back to the front of the building to make arrangements to take one of them home. It’s slowly grown more and more quiet, and the pictures on the walls aren’t quite as bright anymore. He and Bucky are slumped down in the middle of a long row of chairs, watching things wind down little by little. 

“Maybe today’s just not the day,” he says softly. 

Bucky takes off his baseball cap so he can better meet his eyes. “Let’s just give it a little longer. I had a feeling, remember? And I know that feelings aren’t like, set in stone kind of shit but-“ He stops short, glancing down. Something had bumped against his leg. 

That something is a person, curled up tightly and hiding underneath one of the chairs. She recoils as soon as she realizes that she’s been seen, long, brown hair covering her face. She’s clutching a stuffed cat to her chest, and she looks like she’s trying to make herself invisible. 

“Hey,” Bucky nudges Steve and leans down so he can get a better look at her. “You okay?”

No answer. She shivers a little bit. 

Steve gets up and goes to kneel down in front of her. “Hon, are you alright? It’s okay if you’re not. We can go get someone for you if you need it.” 

It takes a moment, but she slowly looks up, hair parting so he can see what she looks like. A scared little face with large, green eyes and trembling lower lip stare back at him. 

Steve offers her a gentle smile. “I’m Steve, and this is my husband Bucky.”

She’s trembling, but other than that, doesn’t move. Steve is starting to wonder if he should go find Len or someone else. Some of the other littles have been shy, but she seems downright terrified. 

“I like your cat,” Bucky speaks, using a coaxing kind of voice that Steve rarely hears, but still melts his heart. “Does it have a name?” 

The girl nods. 

“Do you have a name too?”

She shifts her position a little bit, and Steve catches a glimpse of the nametag sticker on her teddy bear printed dress. “Wanda? Is that your name?” 

She nods again. 

“That’s a really pretty name. It’s nice to meet you, Wanda.” Steve moves back a little bit, trying to give her space. “Hey, it doesn’t look very comfortable under there. Do you want to come out?” 

Wanda whimpers, clutches her cat tightly against her body and hides her face away. Before Steve can say anything else, he hears an exasperated sigh behind them. “Wanda, get up.” 

Len, with his clipboard gripped tightly in his hands and his mouth in a thin line, does not look pleased. “I’m sorry. She’s only been here a few weeks, but she’s already a little bit of trouble.” 

Steve and Bucky share a look, and there are no words that need to be said. Bucky stays on the ground with the girl, while Steve gets up and leads Len away. “She’s fine. You said she’s just been here a few weeks?” 

“Someone found her wandering around on the streets, wet and dirty,” Len tells him, “She had a note with her—it said she’s from Sokovia, her brother was her caregiver, he died, and whoever she was last with can’t take care of her anymore. I guess they just turned her loose. I have no idea if any of that is true or not. She barely talks, and when we asked her, she wouldn’t say anything about it. That,” he jerks his thumb back toward her, “Is, unfortunately, typical behavior so far.” 

Steve looks back. The girl hasn’t come out yet, but she’s showing her cat to Bucky, who seems to be taking a genuine interest in it. Even from where he’s standing, Steve can see a little bit of a sparkle in her sad eyes. 

He and Bucky lock eyes again. 

They’re totally screwed. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is short! I'll try to update with a longer one this week. 
> 
> Thank you for the nice comments. :) They really made my day.

Bucky stares. 

The girl stares back. 

Wanda still hasn’t spoken, but she has slowly inched her way out from under the chair. She averts her eyes away from Bucky and looks back down to the tattered blanket and cat in her arms. Bucky has a sudden urge to reach out and brush her hair out of her face. It’s messy and tangled, almost down to her waist. 

“You don’t have to talk to me,” Bucky tells her, “Sometimes I don’t feel like talking much either. People can be so loud. But do you mind if I talk to you right now?” 

She doesn’t indicate no, so he keeps going. “I wonder if you have any friends here.” 

She shakes her head. 

“Well, that’s okay. Lots of other places to make friends. Me, I’ve known Steve forever. But there are other places.”

Wanda rubs her blanket against her cheek. It’s pale pink and off-white, with flowers and bunnies decorating the border. Her hands shake as she grips it tightly. 

Then, she speaks. It’s so quiet that Bucky can barely hear it, but it’s there. She’s saying, “I’m Wanda.” 

Bucky grins. “Yeah, I know you are. I saw your nametag. Did you write your name all by yourself?” 

“Nu-uh.” She stares off into space blankly before saying, “Know some. A, B, C. Letter.”

“You’re pretty smart, you know that? Do you know what letters come after that?”

“M…O…two.” She looks confused now. “No.”

“D, E, F. Can you say that?” 

Wanda repeats it back, still staring straight ahead. Her grip on her blanket and her cat hasn’t loosened. Her hands are small and slender, and gripping her most treasured possessions with everything she has. 

Finally, she slowly moves her thumb to her mouth. Bucky’s first instinct is to gently tell her no, but he can also immediately tell that it comforts her, so he keeps his mouth shut.

His heart is beating a million miles a minute. 

“I know you don’t know me,” he says to her quietly, “But I hope you like us.” 

 

 

Len doesn’t seem thrilled at the prospect. Steve is indignant. 

“We have a room ready and everything. I don’t understand why-“

Len sighs and rubs his forehead for what has to be the millionth time that day. “Mr. Rogers, I’ve been at this awhile. I can tell when littles are going to be too much trouble and I can tell you right now that Wanda is going to be trouble. She’s been a nonstop emotional wreck since she got here.” 

“You told me you found her on the streets!” 

“Yes. She may have trauma that you’re not equipped to deal with. I’m trying to give you the best advice I can here. Advice that won’t end with you and your husband wanting to give her back. You’ve looked at her file now. You can see for yourself. She screams, she cries, she hides, she hurts herself, we’re constantly dealing with her having accidents…honestly, I’d be thrilled to have her taken off our hands, but I don’t trust that you won’t want to bring her back. I’m sorry. The choice is yours, but I want to be as frank with you as possible. There’s a reason that nobody else was interested in her.”

It’s been a week since the adoption fair. Steve and Bucky have been trying to get their foot in the door ever since. They’d finally gotten a chance to look at Wanda’s information that they hadn’t seen before.

It hadn’t changed a thing. Now sitting in Len’s office, legal documents in front of them and knowing that she was just outside, Steve is surer than ever.

“We want to take her home with us.”

“You said it’s our choice,” Bucky added, “And we’ve made our choice. We’ll take care of her. We want to take care of her” 

Len eyes both of them warily. He’s spent the past hour trying to talk them out of it, and it’s obvious that the conversation is going nowhere. He uncaps a fountain pen sitting on his desk and slides it across the table. “You know where to sign.” 

Steve’s breath catches in his throat. This is it. Just a few scrawls across legal paper and they get to start their family. They get to bring their little girl home. 

“Congratulations, gentlemen,” Len folds his hands together. “Let’s hope it works out.” 

“It will,” Bucky says with conviction. Wanda doesn’t say too much and she’s been incredibly shy around both of them so far, but really, what did that matter? She’d get comfortable with them. Between the little bit she’d talked and information they gathered from Len, he and Steve had at least been able to figure out what things she liked so they knew what to start putting in her room. Bucky couldn’t say that he was a huge fan of pink, Disney princesses, or Hello Kitty, but apparently, Wanda liked those things and he’d just learn to live with them. 

Things had changed so fast. Within a week they’d accumulated clothes, pacifiers, bottles, and just about everything else they could haul up into the house.

It’s what they’ve been waiting so long for and it’s finally, finally here. 

Len gets up to go tell Wanda that she’s going home. 

 

Wanda doesn’t show much emotion other than confusion when she leaves. Steve tries to explain to her what’s happening, but he isn’t really sure she gets it. 

“You’re gonna come home with us, honey. And if you like living with us, we’d really like to take care of you.”  


Wanda hugs her blanket and her cat to her chest and sticks her lower lip out. “Kitty.” 

“You can bring your kitty with. And your blanket too. You can bring whatever you want.” 

But that’s just all about Wanda has, other than a few other articles of clothing and the note that she was found with, so it doesn’t take long to get her ready to go. 

Bucky offers her his hand when he leads her out to the car. Tentatively, she takes it. She looks stiff and scared, but she doesn’t let go. 

 

The brownstone Steve and Bucky live in is just over half an hour away. Night is starting to fall by the time they get home. Wanda stares at the house with wide eyes, a mixture of fear and curiosity. 

“This is your new home, Wanda,” Steve tells her. “I think you’re gonna like it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please drop me a line before you go!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments on the last chapter!

 

Ivy curls around the curlicue railing that leads up to the front door, painted a soft shade of brown. Steve has always thought that his home looks inviting and pleasant. He’s just now realizing that Wanda looks a little scared of it. 

The three of them are standing just in front of the steps, Wanda’s hand clutching at Bucky’s arm. She shivers, but it isn’t cold. 

“It’s okay, sweetie,” Steve tells her, “You’re okay, I promise.” 

Wanda rubs her eyes with her free hand and yawns, swaying a little bit on her feet. “Inside.” 

“Yeah, we’re gonna go inside now,” Bucky puts a finger under her chin and gets her to look up at him. “You look tired. Is it okay if I carry you? You can tell me if you want me to put you down.” 

To both their surprise, Wanda nods and lets Bucky lift her up. She wraps her legs around him and hides her face in his shoulder, letting out a content little sigh. Steve gently rubs her back and whispers, “You’re a sleepy girl, huh? Let’s get you inside.” 

He catches Bucky’s eye. He can see hope, relief, belief.

 

 

Wanda’s file had very vaguely mentioned “food issues,” but Steve hadn’t asked exactly what that entailed, and didn’t find out until he asked her if she wanted to eat something. She didn’t say no, but she did look unnerved. Steve just took her silence as a yes.

“Rice?”

Still nothing. 

“Give her something,” Bucky says, “I think she’s more tired than hungry, but she’s still gotta eat. I’ll help her get settled.” 

Wanda is starting to relax a little bit, looking at the house with a growing curiosity. Bucky, still holding her, tells her that this is her new home, it’s all hers, and she can stay here as long as she wants. 

“Want to see your room? We put a lot of it together kinda last minute but they told us you like princess stuff.” 

That gets her eyes to light up. “Elsa!”

“Yeah, totally.” Bucky looks back at Steve, “Is that the mermaid?”

“That’s Ariel, Elsa is the one with magic ice powers. I’m sure you’ll learn soon enough.” 

“Great. Two Disney nerds under one roof. Let’s go, sweetie.” 

Wanda’s room is right next to theirs, just in case they need to go take care of her in the middle of the night. Steve painted a few flowers on the door, decorating the eggshell white in pastel pink and purple. Bucky sets Wanda down and opens it up, ushering her in. “Is it okay? We can change it if you want. “

Wanda seems frozen, shocked. She takes a few hesitant steps forward, pressing her feet into the softness of the carpet, then reaching a hand up to brush against the dresses hanging on the front of the closet, and finally kneeling down in front of some of some of the dolls next to the bed. 

“Mine?” Her voice is hushed. 

“Yeah, sweetheart. All this is yours.” Bucky can’t help but smile. “You like it?” 

“Uh-huh.” She picks up a Barbie and reverently runs a hand through its flaxen hair. “Thank you. Thank you. Pretty.” 

“You don’t have to thank me, but you’re welcome. I’m glad you like it.” And he really, really is. If the state she was found in was any indication, Bucky doesn’t think Wanda’s had it easy. But she seems so soft, so sweet, and seeing her smile lifts up his heart. 

“C’mon you two,” Steve calls from the kitchen. “Time to eat.” 

Bucky helps Wanda up. “You can come back and play later, okay?” 

“Play.”

“That’s right.” 

“Mine?”

“Yours.”

 

It doesn’t take long to realize what the document meant by issues with food. Steve tries to give Wanda rice, and at first he thinks she’s fine. Then she grabs a handful of it, shoves it halfway into her mouth and halfway…well, all over her face, and dives under the table, sobbing. 

“Oh, sweetie.” Steve immediately drops to his knees so he can see her. “It’s okay, Wanda. It’s okay. Can you tell me what’s wrong?” 

She cries harder, messy hands grabbing at her hair. “Want eat.” 

“I know, I know. You can eat, it’s okay. I can give you something else if-”

Wanda shakes her head rapidly and forces herself to stand up before Steve can say anything else. Then she grabs it again, trying over and over. Hardly any of it makes it into her mouth. 

“Wanda, baby.” Bucky puts a hand on her shoulder, “It’s okay. Maybe that’s…enough for now, yeah? I think you’re tired. Let’s get you ready for bed.” 

Wanda stops, turning around to stare at him. “Sleep?” 

“Yeah, are you sleepy? You were looking pretty tired earlier.” 

Wanda starts bawling again, cheeks turning red. “Sorry! I’m sorry! I—I…” 

“Don’t apologize, okay? No big deal. I think you just need some rest. Can you get dressed by yourself?” 

“No. No. No. Help.” 

“Okay,” he keeps his voice level and calm, “We’ll help you. No big deal.”

 

Wanda doesn’t stop crying while Steve undresses her and puts her in a nightgown, but she quiets down a little bit after he holds her in his lap for a bit, rocking her back and forth while Bucky strokes her hair. She sniffles a little bit, but Steve hears the same content sigh that he did earlier. 

“You like that, huh? You like being held.” 

Wanda mumbles something in return, something he can’t quite make out. He feels her lift her arm up, and then hears her softly sucking on her thumb.

“That’s it, baby girl. You’re okay. You’re okay. I’ve gotcha.”

Wanda stops sucking on her thumb for a moment and mumbles, “Bad girl.” 

“No, no you’re not!” Steve sounds horrified at first and tries to temper his voice, “You’re a good girl, Wanda. I promise. Don’t worry about earlier. No big deal. We’re…” 

His voice cracks, and Bucky finishes the sentence for him.

“We’re so happy you’re here. So happy. We waited a long time to meet you, you know. So don’t feel bad. Whatever you need, we’ll help you through it.” 

It doesn’t take too long for Wanda to fall asleep after that. Steve lifts her off his lap and tucks her in, making sure that her kitty and her blanket are both securely there next to her. She looks more peaceful than he’s seen her so far. 

“Buck…” his voice is still tight. “What do you think happened to her?” 

Bucky shrugs, and in all honesty, he really doesn’t know. He gets up and goes to the corner of the room where they stashed the few things that Wanda brought with her, note included. “You haven’t seen this, have you?” 

Steve stands and holds his hand out. “No. They just told me what it said.” 

The note consists of a hasty, penciled scrawl on crumpled, wide ruled paper. Steve squints to read it. 

_ please take care of this girl. she’s from sokovia. we told her brother before he died we would look after her. but we didn’t. i’m sorry. she’s a good girl. she will love you very much. _

_ her name is wanda. _

Steve stares. “This is just weird.” 

“Yeah. Tell me about it. But it said that she’s from Sokovia, so you don’t know what she might’ve seen when she was there. And I guess whoever wrote this didn’t take good care of her. I mean, they say it right there.” 

“I wonder how she got to the States.”

“I don’t know if she’s really capable of telling us. She doesn’t seem to be that good at speaking complete sentences.” 

“She’s just a baby, Buck. “  
“I know. That’s why I’m worried,” he sighs. “You think we’re in too deep here?”

Steve turns around to look at Wanda. He looks at her flushed pink cheeks, messy brown hair strewn across the pillows, her thumb in her rosebud mouth. 

“No. I don’t think so. Not at all.” 

And Bucky smiles. 

“Good. Me too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a new Tumblr where I'll update about writing and stuff and post aesthetics relating to the story, if you're interested :)  
> https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/
> 
> Reviews feed the lifeforce of an author. ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short. I wanted it to be longer but it kinda ended where it was meant to end y'know? 
> 
> Anyways, I'm planning some much longer chapters. If you have any ideas for stuff you want to see, just drop it in the comments because I'm following a general storyline but I'm open to prompts and stuff!

Steve sketches out a butterfly with pencil on the center of the page. The notebook he carries with him is small and messy, filled with doodles of whatever comes to mind when he’s bored, and the occasional grocery list. 

Right now, he’s not exactly bored, but he is nervous. Wanda came to them with medical papers that she had from seeing a doctor after she’d been picked up off the street, but they’re required to bring her back just to make sure everything’s okay — and Steve is _not_ excited about it. Doctors make him nervous. Between his various childhood illnesses and then being in the hospital after Bucky’s accident, he associates them entirely with bad news. So now they’re sitting in this waiting room, which is filled with flowers and toys and paintings on the walls that make it seem much more cheery than it really is, and he’s trying to keep himself calm. 

“Steve, she’ll be fine,” Bucky tells him. 

“I read in her file that she doesn’t like doctors. She’ll probably be scared,” Steve said, pressing the pencil into the paper a little harder. Wanda is sitting at Bucky’s feet with headphones in and watching a movie on his phone. They had tried to get her to go play with the other littles waiting to be called in, but her shyness won out. Bucky reaches down and pats her head. “We’ll be right there.” 

Wanda takes the headphones out of her ears, turns around, and looks up. “No doctor.” 

“Yes,” Bucky tells her, “She isn’t going to hurt you.” 

Wanda looks at Steve with the hope that he’ll take her side, but he just sighs and says, “He’s right. We’d never let her hurt you.” 

“No, no, no.” She points to the door. “Out.” 

Great. This is gonna be _so_ much fun. When the nurse calls for them Steve briefly considers actually just letting Wanda skip the whole thing and making a run for it, but Bucky shoots him a glance that clearly says _let’s just get this over with._

Wanda starts crying immediately, so Steve picks her up and tries to shush her. “Wanda, please stop crying. You can hold your bear the whole time. Come on, it’s okay.” 

“You can have ice cream when you’re done,” Bucky throws in. 

Steve glares at him. “When did we discuss that?” 

“What’s wrong with ice cream?” 

“Oh…nothing. You’re right. You can have ice cream after.” 

Wanda isn’t at all placated by this promise and keeps sobbing into Steve’s shoulder all he way into the exam room. They get a few sympathetic looks from the nurses and other patients, but Steve wonders if they’re silently judging. He sits in a plastic white chair in the corner of the exam room with Wanda still in his arms, while Bucky leans against the wall, anxiously glancing at his watch. 

The door opens and a woman wearing a doctor’s coat, with chocolate brown hair pulled into a bun and a friendly smile, walks in. “Hi there. I’m Dr. Palmer.” 

“I’m Bucky. This is my husband Steve,” Bucky nods to him, “And Wanda.”

“I remember her. Hi, sweetheart.” Dr. Palmer keeps her voice gentle, “You don’t seem very happy that you had to come see me today, huh? I promise we’re gonna make this quick.” 

Wanda seems a little less scared when she sees Dr. Palmer. She must recognize her too, Steve thinks. 

Dr. Palmer sits down and looks at her clipboard. “I saw Wanda just after she was found and I did an assessment then. We’re just going to make sure she’s doing okay and I’ll assess her again for medication needs. Do you think she’s adjusting well?” 

“I think so,” Steve says, “She’s still a little shy. She doesn’t talk a lot.”

“We were a little concerned with her being underweight last time she was here. Is she eating normally?”

“No. She gets really panicky and weird about food. I mean she won’t complain about what you give her, but I think meals stress her out. We have to distract her when she eats sometimes. She likes sweets, but she’ll only eat them if you give them to her..”

“Hmm,” she frowns. “I want you to keep monitoring that and bring her back in if you don’t think it’s changing. What about her sleeping?”

“She doesn’t fight about bedtime, but she wakes up crying at night. We think it might be nightmares.”

“She has accidents every night,” Bucky interjects. “It’s pretty frequent during days too.” 

Dr. Palmer nods. “That came up when I saw her before too. I had her assessed for anxiety and panic disorders as well-“

“That’s the biggest issue we’ve had,” Steve says, “She has panic attacks constantly. And she’s scared of…almost everything. I think she’s scared of us and I can’t figure out what we’re doing wrong.” 

“Wanda exhibits symptoms of PTSD,” Dr. Palmer tells him, “Based on my previous assessment of her, it seems like she was probably abused or neglected or both. If she’s scared of you it’s probably not because of something you’re doing wrong. She’s just still learning that you’re a safe person to be around. But if she’s letting you hold her like this, that’s a good first step. Just be consistent. I advise against this in any case, but spanking her if she misbehaves is not going to help her.”

Bucky shakes his head. “We wouldn’t do that.” 

“I figured you wouldn’t. Now as for her anxiety and panic attacks…they don’t seem to be improving. I’m going to prescribe her with Xanax and we’ll see if it helps. She’ll need to take one pill every day. Try to make sure it’s at the same. Getting her into a routine is important. I’m going to send you guys home with some information that might help with all of this. I also want to recommend that you look into taking her to a psychologist to help with some of the trauma symptoms she’s exhibiting.” 

It all seems like so much at once, and Steve finds himself just nodding along numbly, barely hearing what she’s saying. Wanda has calmed down significantly and is back to sucking her thumb and humming to herself. Steve smiles and runs a hand through her soft hair. “Good girl.” 

 

They end up going home with a boatload of pamphlets full of information about eating issues, accidents, self harm, anxiety…it goes on and on. Steve flips through them while Bucky drives. “At least we’re not the only ones who don’t know how to handle this stuff perfectly. I mean, these things have to exist for other people, right?”

“Right.” Bucky sounds like he’s trying to convince himself. He looks at Wanda in the rearview mirror and smiles. “We’re so proud of you, sweetheart. You were such a good girl today.”

Wanda looks happy. “Good girl?” 

“That’s right. Steve, didn’t she do great?” 

“You sure did!” Steve turns around to look at her, “Let’s get you ice cream.” 

And when Wanda gets her hands and face all messy with strawberry, Steve just laughs and gently wipes it off. She doesn’t squirm when he touches her face, just whimpers a little. Then she smiles up at him with bright green eyes full of happiness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is author. Author is hungry. Please feed the author with reviews.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the nice comments! They make me very happy wow.  
> Sorry for any mistakes! They are all mine. 
> 
> Yes I saw Endgame and there will be no spoilers here because I know some people haven't seen it yet and also because I'M A MESS. 
> 
> But of course this fic will not be affected in any way (AU perks).

Bucky is with Wanda at the park when she asks him. 

“Are you my daddies?”

“Oh.” It’s been a few weeks and while things are going smoothly, they haven’t really had this conversation with Wanda yet. They’ve mostly been trying to let her get adjusted and it’s going…well, fine. Not _bad_. They love having her there. It’s just hard to tell if she feels the same way. 

“We love that you live with us now,” Bucky says, choosing his words carefully. “And we’re going to take care of you the way that daddies would. But if you don’t want to use that word yet, that’s okay. And it’s okay if you do. Your choice.” 

They’re sitting on a blanket laid out on the grass, and Wanda has her knees up to her chest, clutching them tightly. She rocks back and forth a little bit, contemplating. “No Papa. Daddy. Yes?”

“Yeah, sweetheart. If that’s what you want.” 

She doesn’t respond, but she seems pretty satisfied, so Bucky decides not to say anything else about it. Instead, he points to the uneaten sandwich she has in front of her. “You’ve gotta eat, Wanda.” 

She looks frightened now, and he feels his heart ache. With every panic attack, every averse reaction she has to normal, everyday things, Bucky wonders what happened to Wanda before they found her. He’s noticed that she’ll eat when she thinks nobody’s looking at her — but they can’t very well just make her sneak food all the time. 

“It’s okay,” he soothes, “I can help you if you need it.” 

Wanda inches away. “No hitting.” 

“No hitting. Promise.” 

So Wanda does eat a few bites, but the fear on her face doesn’t disappear, and her hands shake almost uncontrollably. She looks right at Bucky, and drops the sandwich as soon as he moves, leaving strawberry jam smeared on the side of her mouth. He swallows his sadness and says, “What a good girl. I’m so proud of you.” 

Her eyes are so hopeful and so suspicious at the same time. “Good girl.” 

“You sure are. Can I clean up your pretty face? You can tell me if you want me to stop.” 

She nods, and stays very still while he wipes her face off with a napkin. When he pulls back, Wanda looks at him in amazement. 

“Daddy.” 

_Oh my God. Oh my God._

Bucky tries not to let the absolute thrill he feels show too much. “If that’s what you need me to be.” 

Wanda moves closer, and lays her head down in his lap. It takes him by surprise, but he’s definitely not complaining. Bucky strokes her cheek with a finger for a few seconds. “Are you happy?”

“Uh-huh.” She closes her eyes contentedly. 

“Good. I want to make you happy. We both do.” 

They stay there in silence, just listening to the birds chirping. Finally, Wanda asks, “I’m yours? Your girl?” 

“Yeah. You’re our baby girl.” 

She reaches her arms up and lets him pull her into a sitting position on his lap. Wanda sucks on her thumb and snuggles up against him. Bucky rocks her gently, and oh God. It feels so _right_. It feels like a dream. She’s so tiny and warm, so gentle and breakable and he just wants to hold her forever.

And it’s perfect for just a moment, until Wanda’s eyes fall on a suited man sitting on a park bench not too far away. Bucky realizes that he’s looking right at them just as Wanda puts a hand over her mouth and makes a choked out little cry. “No, no, no.” 

“Wanda?” Bucky cups her face in his hands, “Are you okay?” 

“No, no, no,” she says again. Her face has drained of color, she’s shaking uncontrollably. “Wanna go home! Please, please! No, no, no-“

“Okay, okay,” Bucky tries to soothe her, doing his best to ignore the panicked feeling he has in his gut. “We’ll go home, sweetheart. No problem. I’ll take you home.”

He turns to look at the man again, but by the time he does, he’s walked away.

 

 

“I don’t know what it was, Steve. She just saw this guy and boom. Complete freakout.” 

Steve rubs his forehead. Wanda was hysterical the whole time Bucky was bringing her home and it took a lot of hugs and kisses to get her to calm down enough to take her nap. Now that she’s dozing in her room, Bucky’s trying to understand what happened. Trying and failing miserably. 

“I’ve never seen him before,” he says, “There’s tons of people in New York. How would she have known him?” 

“I don’t know. What are we supposed to do? Should we call Len? No, that’s stupid. He can’t do anything. Are you sure that it was this guy who made her cry?” 

“I swear to God, he was looking at us, she looked at him, and then she started crying. You don’t think…I mean, she must have known him from before. God Steve, what if he…what if he hurt her? Should we ask her about it? I don’t want to scare her again.” 

Before Steve can reply, Wanda comes down the hall and into the living room where they’re sitting. They took her dress off and traded it in for a soft blue shirt with ruffles on the sleeves, with she’s tugging on with one hand. There are still tear tracks on her face. 

“Hey, little lady,” Steve pulls her into a hug and sits her on his lap. “Did you have a nice nap?” 

She nods, kicking her legs and putting her thumb in her mouth. She’s biting herself, so Steve gently tugs her hand away. “Don’t do that, sweetheart. Do you want to tell me what happened today?” 

Wanda’s eyes fill with tears and she shakes her head vigorously. “No, no. No, Daddy. I don’t want— no hitting.” 

“I’m not gonna hit you,” he says firmly. “I promise. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but if you feel like it, you can. Okay? You’re safe here with us. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Do you want to watch TV?”

She nods. Care Bears.” 

“Care Bears it is. I think I need to change you first, huh? Come on.” 

Wanda looks petrified again, and she’s babbling out apologies before Steve can say anything else. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It was an accident. i’m sorry, I’m-“

“Shhh, sweetie. It’s okay.” One thing she hasn’t been able to adjust to is them changing her or even recognizing that she needs to be, and Steve can’t figure out why for the life of him, since she always seems to feel better afterwards. “You’re right, it’s just an accident. You’re little, it’s not your responsibility to worry about that. Okay? Don’t cry, you’re not in trouble. You’re gonna feel so much better, and Bucky can get you a bottle. You’re fine, Wanda. I promise you’re fine.” 

“I’m not. You’re gonna hit me.” 

“I’m not going to hit you. I promise. Look at me. Look at me. You’re okay. Nobody is going to hurt you. I would never, ever let that happen.” 

Steve knows that no amount of just saying it is going to make her believe it. Wanda obviously has trust issues. She seems so desperate to be taken care of, and so afraid at the same time. 

“Do you want to hold your blanket? I think that’ll help.”

Wanda nods, rubbing her eyes with her fists. Her blanket always helps. 

“Let’s go get it. Come on.” Steve helps her up and lets her hold onto his hand. Wanda doesn’t have a very tight grip, but he can tell that she’s holding on as firmly as she can. 

Steve gives her the blanket and a stuffed bunny to hold onto, and it calms her down a little. At the very least she’s comforted by having something soft and familiar to hold onto. Satisfied that she’s no longer hysterical, Steve is able to get her changed pretty quickly with a minimal amount of tears. 

“Good girl!” He kisses her forehead when he’s done. “I’m so proud of you. Let’s go put your show on now.”

Wanda, massively relieved that she didn’t get hit, lifts her arms. “Up?”

Steve gathers her into his arms. “Do you think you can take your medicine for me too?” 

She nods. Wanda doesn’t fuss too much about that as long as she’s being held. “I can.”

“Of course you can. Let’s go find Bucky.” 

 

 

It’s getting darker out, and Wanda’s getting sleepy again. She’s been sitting on Bucky’s lap, wrapped up and slowly calming down. She points at the TV screen and babbles something about the Care Bears that neither Bucky nor Steve can understand, and they both share a smile anyways. 

“No way,” Bucky tickles her gently, speaking as if he knows exactly what she’s talking about. “That is so great.”

She mumbles something else, then turns back into Bucky’s arms, shutting her eyes tight. He rubs circles on her back, listening to her breathing start to even out. 

“Buck…” Steve reaches over and takes his hand, squeezing it tightly. “God, I’m so damn happy.” 

He nods, feeling a lump start to form in his throat that he swallows down. He’s happy too after all, and he’s definitely not about to start crying too. “So am I. She’s…”

“Perfect.” 

“Yeah. She really is.” Bucky runs a hand through Wanda’s hair. “But we need to get her to therapy. She looked so scared of that guy, Steve. It really freaked me out.” 

“I know. I know. It’s okay, Buck.”

And Bucky can just hope to God that it is. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I take prompts! So if you have anything you'd like to see in this story just let me know. Or even if you don't...
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is the author. Author is hungry. Please feed the author with reviews.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr!  
> https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Painting and a bath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the wonderful comments, everyone! I really appreciate everyone who's given this story a chance.

When Bucky goes to work at the theatre, Steve goes to work at home. In a little room filled with easels, paints, and various pencils made to sketch things out, he spends the better part of the day pulling colors together into something beautiful. 

Wanda loves to watch. 

She usually hangs back while he paints, too cautious to get close, too afraid of messing something up. Sometimes Steve will take her hand and ask her if she likes whatever it is that he’s working on that day and she always says yes. She always likes what he does. Her favorites have lots of pink in them. 

Today, Steve is using lots of blues to paint a sky. Wanda went down for a nap about half an hour ago, so he doesn’t notice her standing behind him until he turns to wash the brush off. “Hey there, sweetheart. Not sleepy?”

Wanda shakes her head. She’s standing in the doorway with her thumb in her mouth and a stuffed unicorn in the other hand. Steve motions for her to come closer. “Do you want to paint with me?” 

Her eyes widen a little bit and she nods. 

“C’mere. I think you’ll have fun with it. But put your friend down, unless you want to get paint on him.” 

Wanda nods and sets the unicorn in the doorway. She takes her thumb out of her mouth just long enough to say, “Pink?” 

“You can use pink. Any color you want. I think we’re running a little low on burnt sienna, though.” Steve pulls a large sheet of paper out of a set of drawers set up by the window. “I hope you don’t mind working on the floor.” 

Wanda shakes her head and settles herself onto the ground, taking the paper out of Steve’s hands. She’s trembling a little bit, so he kneels down to her level and says, “Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay to have fun. Yes?” 

“Yes, Daddy.” He can see her relax a little bit. 

“Do you know what you want to paint?” 

She nods. “Rainbow.” 

“Excellent idea. Let’s get you lots of colors.”

“Green,” she says, “Green’s a color for rainbow.” 

“It sure is!” Steve ruffles her hair. “You know all your colors. What a smart girl.” 

Wanda actually smiles, and Steve feels like he could burst with joy. She seems so sad all the time, and a little bit of happiness is a welcome change.

Steve gives her a paintbrush, but Wanda realizes pretty quickly that it’s more fun to use her hands. She glides her fingers, dipped in pink, across the paper until a picture starts to form. Sure, it’s not a super accurate depiction of a rainbow, but the look on her face is enough to let Steve know how proud of it she is. Slowly but surely, she starts to move faster; her eyes grow brighter. Paint gets on her face and arms and legs and dress, and she’s having _fun_. 

Wanda makes a few shaky hearts next to her rainbow, then holds the picture up to show Steve. “Look, Daddy!”

Steve turns away from his own work, his face lighting up. “Oh, Wanda. That’s fantastic! You did such a great job. Do you want to hang it in your room?”

She shakes her head and holds it out. “Nuh-uh.” 

“No? What do you want to do with it? Because we can’t just throw it out, this thing is a masterpiece.” 

She giggles. “For you. Yes?”

Steve gets on the floor with her again and meets her eyes. “For me?”

She nods and pushes it into his hands. “Thank you.” 

“Sweetheart,” he swallows the lump in his throat. “Thank _you_. I am gonna hang this up right in here and keep it forever.”

“Forever and ever?” 

“Forever and ever.” He presses a brief kiss to her forehead. “But you’re a mess, missy. Time for a bath.” 

The spark goes out of her eyes Being bathed make her anxious. 

“It’s okay,” he promises her, “We’ll make it quick.”

 

 

Wanda doesn’t cry, but she does stay quiet and stiff while Steve gets her undressed. He tries to talk her through it. He tells her how good she’s being and how he’s so proud of her. Wanda keeps her cool until he starts to scrub at her with a washcloth. She whimpers loudly and shakes her head. “I’m bad.” 

“Shhh. You are not bad. Does this hurt?” 

“Yes-no. Don’t know!” She starts crying, “Want out.” 

Steve strokes her hair gently. “Baby, I don’t want to hurt you. I’m going to try and be very gentle, and you tell me when you need me to stop, okay?”

Wanda looks at the door anxiously, then back to him. It takes a moment or so, but she nods. 

“Here.” Carefully, Steve takes her hand and guides her thumb to her mouth. “I think that’ll make you feel a little better.” 

It does comfort Wanda a tiny bit, but her discomfort is still palpable, and Steve is immensely relieved when she’s all cleaned up. He helps her out and wraps her in a towel. “All done. Great job, angel. Daddy’s so proud of you.” 

Wanda rubs at her eyes. “No hitting.” 

“No hitting.” 

She sniffles, “No spanking.” 

“Absolutely not. You’re my precious girl. I’d never, ever hurt you. Promise.” Steve squeezes her hand, hoping in the back of his mind, that maybe she’ll believe him one day. 

He gets her dressed just in an oversized t-shirt with butterflies on it and does her hair back up in pigtails. As soon as he’s done, Wanda suddenly leans into him and sighs softly. 

“Daddy.” 

Steve wraps his arms around her and picks her up. “Yeah, baby. Daddy’s gotcha. Do you want to go play in your room for a little while?” 

“Uh-huh. Princess.” 

“Princess it is. I don’t think you have to pretend to be one though. You’re already the best princess in the whole world.” 

Wanda doesn’t want to let go of him, so when they settle down in her room, Steve just ends up sitting on the soft rug, surrounded by Barbies, and rocking her back and forth. 

“Story?” Wanda asks after awhile. 

“Yeah, of course we can read a story. Go pick one out,” he lets her out of his arms and watches her scamper towards the bookshelf. It’s mostly filled with fairytales and a few that they thought might help her adjust to having a family. Wanda picks out a short picture book about Cinderella. She hands it over to Steve, then lies down on the floor next to him, kicking her legs up in the air. Steve chuckles and runs a hand through her hair. “Are you being silly?” 

“Nooo,” she shakes her head, but can’t help smiling. 

“I think you are. I think you’re a silly girl.” He tickles her, “Isn’t that right?” 

Wanda giggles, “Daddy! Cinderella!”

“Oh that’s right. Can’t forget about that.” Steve flips open the book to the first page. “Once upon a time…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is author. Author is hungry. Please feed the author with reviews.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @ softlyhoping!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is so late! Thank you for all the comments! 
> 
> Tags apply.

_“Stop crying. You can do it. Stop fucking crying.”_

_Red silk. Yellowish sheets. Cookies baking._

_“Stop fucking crying, you stupid little bitch. If you don’t stop, I’m going to kill you. Is that what you want? Get in there and - “_

_Red silk. Yellowish sheets. Cookies baking._

_And heat and pain and blood._

 

Wanda wakes up with her breath caught in her throat. She can’t breathe. She feels like something’s pressing down on her chest and her stomach. She feels a wetness in her pajamas and sheets and her heart starts to beat out of her chest. She’s going to be in so much trouble. 

She has to keep quiet. If she stays quiet they won’t hear her and nothing bad will happen. Her stomach twists and lurches at the thought of what might happen if she’s found out like this. She wants to suck on something so badly, but she can’t bring herself to move her hands to her mouth. 

Everything hurts. How does everything hurt so much? 

She can already feel the slap across her face, hear the harshness of yelling right in her ear. Wanda shudders and tries to think. She doesn’t know what to do, how to get up and make it so theycan’t tell that anything’s happened. 

“Be a big girl,” she whispers to herself. She turns onto her side and forces herself up. There’s a little barrier attached to the side of the bed to keep her from falling out at night when she gets restless. It’s covered in a soft pink cloth, and she holds onto it to try to keep steady when getting out of bed.. 

But no, her legs are shaky, and she falls on the floor. Wanda can hardly breathe. Everything’s too big and overwhelming and scary, and she _can’t_ take it anymore. The sobs start to come, no matter how hard she tries to stop them. 

_Stop it! Stop!_

Wanda raises her hand and slaps herself across the face as hard as she can, once, twice, then again. The action takes up so much of her mind that she doesn’t notice light suddenly spilling into the room when the door opens. She doesn’t hear her name. She only registers that something has changed when she feels two hands on her wrists. 

“Wanda,” Steve’s voice is urgent, “Are you okay? What happened?” 

She prepares herself for pain that doesn’t come. Wanda freezes, then goes limp against his chest. 

Steve relaxes. “Oh, honey. Did you have a scary dream?” 

She nods, but can’t find the words to describe it, or to tell him that she was scared of the dark and scared that someone else was going to walk through that door. All she can say is _Daddy_ , begging him with one word to never leave. 

“Daddy’s here, angel. Daddy’s got you. Shhh, shhh. Deep breaths. I know it must have been scary.” 

Wanda feels the metal of Bucky’s left arm on her back. He and Steve are speaking in low tones to each other. 

“…Do you know what happened?” 

“I don’t think she’s hurt.” 

“You get her cleaned up. I’ll take care of things here.” 

Someone is picking her up, holding her in arms strong and warm. Wanda grabs at the shirt of whoever it is that’s cradling her and hides her face in the crook of his neck. 

“Poor little girl,” Steve rubs circles on her back. “It’s okay. You’re just having a tough night. We’re gonna make it better, okay?”

Wanda tries to stop crying, but it’s so hard. “ _Daddy_.” 

“I know. I know. I’ve got you, babygirl. Never gonna let anything hurt you.” 

Ever? Can he even do that? Can he promise she’ll never get hurt again? 

Steve keeps talking to her in a soft, gentle voice that slowly calms her down. He lays her down and changes her and lets her hold onto her kitty while he does and tells her what a good job she’s doing. He gets her dressed again in a pretty nightgown with Ariel on it and then he whispers to her that she’s safe, that it was just a scary dream. 

“Do you want to sleep with us tonight?” 

She nods. Wanda doesn’t want anything more. She whimpers a little bit and bumps her hand against her mouth. She knows she’s supposed to suck on her thumb and somehow, she can’t bring herself to do it. She doesn’t know how to do anything. 

“Oh, sweetheart. Here.” He gets up for a moment, then eases a pacifier into her mouth. Instantly, Wanda feels relief. Steve strokes her cheek with a finger and smiles. “There you go. That’s better, isn’t it? Do you feel better, baby? Let’s get you back to bed.” 

Bucky lifts her up and kisses her cheek. “Someone’s tired.” 

“Yeah, we’d better get her down.” 

Wanda _is_ sleepy, so tired that she can barely keep her eyes open. She just wants to snuggle with her daddies and forget about the whole awful dream. She ends up lying on Bucky’s chest, legs sprawled on either side of him, his arms wrapped around her. Steve keeps rubbing circles on her lower back, keeping her calm. Keeping her safe. Wanda feels herself start to drift. 

“We love you, Wanda.” 

She’s not sure who says it. 

“That’s right, baby. We love you so much.” 

But it lets her feel a little bit of relief before she falls asleep. 

 

 

“Coffee?” 

“Not if you’re making it.” Steve sets his newspaper down and gets up. “I still don’t trust you.” 

Bucky scoffs. “Oh, so one April Fools joke and suddenly you never trust me again?” 

“You pulled that shit in _February_ , Buck.” 

“If I had done it on April Fools you would have seen it coming. Here. I promise, no salt.” 

Steve eyes the red mug he hands to him suspiciously, but takes it anyway. “Thanks. Do you want to get the baby up?” 

“Let her sleep for a few more minutes. She had a rough night.” Bucky pauses. It’s still early in the morning, and they’re in the midst of their typical kitchen ritual. Today, Bucky’s attempting breakfast while Steve reads the newspaper )and insists to him that it’s _not_ outdated) while a podcast plays quietly in the background. 

It’s just that today they need to talk about what happened last night. 

Steve sighs heavily. “I’m worried about her.” 

[“](http://www.apple.com) Me too. I mean I know everyone gets nightmares but it’s not just that. It’s her freaking out at the park, having to learn that she can eat…I don’t know,” Bucky shakes his head. “They said she wouldn’t talk about what happened to her, but I don’t know how to help her if she won’t explain it.” 

“I wonder if Sam knows a therapist who could work with her if it comes to that,” Steve muses. “Either way, we need to talk to her about it. Maybe she just needs time.” 

Bucky is about to reply, but shuts his mouth when he realizes Wanda has decided to join them. Her hair is messy, her dress is on backwards and unbuttoned, and her legs are shaky as she walks. Bucky puts a hand over his mouth. “Well, good morning, little lady. Who dressed you today?” 

“All by myself,” Wanda says proudly. 

“Do you need help?” 

She looks down and sighs sadly. “Yeah.”

“That’s what I thought. Come here.” Bucky tries to stifle a laugh as he gets her dress on properly. “Do you need to be changed?” 

“Nu-uh.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Wanda doesn’t look entirely sure, but nods anyways. Bucky kisses her forehead. “Why don’t you go sit down with your other, way less cool daddy…”

“Hey,” Steve protests, “I’m plenty cool.” 

“…And I’ll get you your sippy. And something to eat, you must be hungry.” Bucky gives Steve a look that clearly says _start talking._

Steve clears his throat. Wanda climbs up onto the chair next to him and sits on her knees. “Daddy, I saw a princess in the book.” 

“Oh wow. That’s great.”

“It was Cin-Cindrella.” She doesn’t say it quite right. “I’m a mouse.” 

“Oh no, I don’t think so. I think you’re a pretty girl.” Steve smiles at her. “Sweetheart, can we talk to you about something? About what happened last night?”

Wanda suddenly looks fearful. “M’sorry. Sorry, Daddy. I’ll be good. I didn’t mean to-” 

“Oh no,” he says quickly, “No, babygirl. I meant that it seemed like you had a really scary dream. We wanted to know if you wanted to talk about it. Sometimes talking about something helps it seem a little less scary.” 

She shrugs. “Bad.” 

“Yeah, it seemed really bad. You were really upset.” 

“Kisses,” Wanda bites her lip. “And hugs. Bad hugs.” 

Steve and Bucky both freeze and exchange a brief look of horror. Steve feels his heart start to beat faster. 

Please no, please no. 

“What kind of hugs?” Bucky tries to keep his voice calm and steady. “Can you…can you tell us?”

“Hurts.” Wanda seems almost as if she’s in a trance, but snaps out of it almost as quickly as she fell into it. “No!”

“Wanda-“ 

“No, no, no,” she stumbles over her words, stands up and backs away, starting to cry. “I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Bucky soothes, immediately going to pick her up. “We didn’t mean to upset you. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I promise. Okay? We’re sorry. Shh, don’t cry.”

Wanda rubs the tears away with her fists. “Daddy?”

“Yeah?” 

“Wanna play princess.”

Bucky sighs. He looks over his shoulder at Steve, who got up to stand right behind him. “Yeah, sweetie. Eat first, and then you can play. Do you want to put your songs on?” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“Good. Can you show me your dancing again?” 

Wanda spins around and hops from one leg to the other. “Ballet girls . So pretty. I wanna be a ballet girl.” 

“Maybe we should get you in lessons. I bet you’d like that, huh?” Bucky tries to keep his tone conversational, but the lingering question that hasn’t yet been answered hangs in the air. 

_What happened to you?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be a lot lighter! 
> 
> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/ You can leave me prompts or messages there or just drop one right here!
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is author. Author is hungry. Please feed the author with reviews.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments, friends!

It’s all hot and sticky out, and Wanda holds Steve’s hand tightly as he leads her down the sidewalk. Her frilly pink skirt made of tulle is short, only up to the top of her thighs, and her hair is tied up in pigtails with large bows. Wanda can barely contain her excitement, because she’s going to dance class. 

She can barely contain her nervousness either. The thought of getting to twirl around and be a ballerina is so, so fun, but she wonders what it’ll be like to have to play with others. 

_What if they’re mean? What if they make fun of me? What if-_

“You’re going to have so much fun,” Steve tells her, swinging her hand in his, “I promise. Maybe you’ll make some friends too.” 

Maybe she will. Wanda feels her stomach all tied up in knots at the thought of it. She has her blankie with her, and her unicorn, and that helps a little, but it’s still scary. 

“I know you’re shy, baby. I think this’ll be good for you. And you’re already a perfect ballerina, aren’t you?” 

Wanda smiles up at him and twirls around. “Really?” 

“Oh, absolutely. You’re my favorite dancer in the world.” He slows his walk as they come up to a building with a brightly painted sign above the door. There are wide windows, and Wanda can see some people inside already. She shuffles her feet a little bit, growing more anxious by the minute, but allows Steve to lead her through. 

There’s a lot of people. Or maybe there’s not a lot of them and it just feels like a lot because she’s scared. There’s mommies and daddies sitting on couches and helping their little ones get ready. Most of them are already filing into the studio. A few of them give them a welcoming smile. Wanda hides behind Steve and clutches onto his shirt. 

“Hello there!” A pretty lady with her red hair in a bun and and a black shawl around her shoulders walks up to them. “I’m Natasha Romanova, the teacher here. But you can call me Miss Nat. You must be the new girl, right?” 

“This is Wanda,” Steve says, “She’s feeling a little shy.” 

“I can see that. It’s okay.” Miss Nat smiles at her, “I’m glad you’re here, hon. It’s okay to feel nervous. We’re a very welcoming little gang. Do you want to come in and get started? Today we’re going to pretend to be butterflies.”

That does sound fun. Wanda loosens her grip on Steve, but still can’t shake her nervousness. Miss Nat looks thoughtful and holds out her hand. “There’s someone I want you to meet. I think you’ll like her.” 

“Go on, sweetheart,” Steve says, nudging her forward, “I’ll be right out here.” 

With trepidation, Wanda lets Miss Nat take her into the studio. She sees the rest of the class giggling and chasing each other around, doing twirls in front of the mirror, or trying somersaults. All except one. A little girl in a white tutu standing in the corner, fidgeting with her hands. She’s looking down, and she’s all by herself. Miss Nat introduces her. 

“Wanda, this is Ava. She’s been feeling a little shy too. Maybe you two can help each other out today. Would you like to be partners?” 

Ava is very pretty and she offers Wanda a little smile and a nod. Wanda nods too. 

“Oh, good. Why don’t you two come line up and we can get started? We’re going to have a lot of fun.” 

Ava holds her hand out to Wanda shyly. “Hi. My mommy took me here.” 

“My daddy took me.” 

“Do you like princesses?” 

“Uh-huh. All of them.” 

And just like that, things aren’t so scary. Maybe it’s the fact that Wanda can see Steve the whole time, or the fact that they get to run around with silky scarves and flap their arms and pretend that they’re flying while happy songs play. 

She feels light and free. Even if it’s just for a moment. When she trips and falls, it’s not so bad, because nobody laughs. They’ve all tripped and fallen too. 

She and Ava don’t speak too much to each other, but when they do, it’s fun and nice and not scary at all. 

“Maybe you can come over and play with me sometime,” Ava says hopefully when the class is finishing up. 

“Really?” Wanda asks in surprise. 

“Really.” 

Ava’s mommy is a woman named Hope. She’s very tall and very professional looking, with bright red lipstick that leaves a little smudge onAva’s cheek when she kisses her. Wanda thinks she’s beautiful, and nice too. 

“I’m glad Ava made a friend,” Hope tells her, “You can come over and play anytime.” 

A friend. Wanda can’t believe it. She made a friend.

 

 

“Did you have fun, sweetheart?” Steve asks. 

“Uh-huh. Butterfly.” 

“I saw that. You were a beautiful butterfly in there.” 

The heat is still stifling and Wanda is a little uncomfortable, but she’s too happy to care too much. She got to be a ballerina and she made a new friend. It’s almost too good to be true.

It is too good to be true. Her stomach twists. What if- 

“I think it’s just about time for your nap,” Steve tells her, “But we should get you a snack first. Do you want me to help you?” 

“Yes.” Just having him sit with her and tell her that she’s not going to get in trouble for eating helps when she’s feeling anxious. Wanda has slowly started to get better at eating, but she’s still messy because she gets anxious and her hands get shaky, so she usually needs someone to help her. Sometimes it’s still too hard and she doesn’t want to eat at all. But when she does, Steve and Bucky always praise her and tell her how well she’s doing. If it makes them happy, it feels worth it to try. 

Wanda tugs at her skirt and whines loudly. Something’s wrong, and she’s not sure what. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” Steve stops and cups her face in his hands, “Can you tell me?” 

She shakes her head, a little whimper escaping her mouth. “Don’t know.” 

“That’s okay,” he says calmly, “Daddy’s gonna take care of it. Look, we’re almost home.” 

It’s cooler inside. Wanda calms down a little bit immediately, and when Steve puts a pacifier in her mouth, she realizes that’s what she needed, what she was missing. How nice to have someone who just _knows,_ even when she doesn’t. 

Steve gets her dressed into something a little looser and more comfortable before helping her eat a snack, letting her sit on his lap the whole time. Wanda is a little tired and leans on his shoulder. 

“Naptime,” Steve stands with her still in his arms. 

Wanda protests, “Wanna play.” 

“I know baby, but you’re really tired. Trust me, you’ll thank me later. Just rest for a little while and then we can play when you wake up. Whatever you want.” 

“Okay.” She’s drifting off a little now, “Daddy?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Stay?” 

Steve chuckles. “I’ll stay with you, honey. Don’t worry.” 

Wanda sighs and closes her eyes as Steve sets her down on the bed, pulling her Little Mermaid blanket up to her shoulders. He takes her hand in his and strokes her hair, “Rest now, gorgeous. I’m so proud of you for going today.” 

“Butterfly,” Wanda’s voice is faint, “Was a butterfly.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/ You can leave me prompts or messages there or just drop one right here!
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is author. Author is hungry. Please feed the author with reviews.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is super short! I'm going to try to have a new chapter up ASAP! Thank you for the comments! They fuel me.

Even though it’s getting dark, New York City is as bright and alive as ever. It’s warm out, so Steve suggested that they eat in the park for the evening before the predicted thunderstorm rolled in. Throughout the humidity, dark clouds are starting to loom above the sky amidst the shiny skyscrapers. 

Bucky leans back on the blanket they brought along and yawns. “This was a good idea. We should do it more often, right Wanda?” 

Wanda nods. She’s sitting in Steve’s lap, sucking her thumb and ever so slightly rocking herself back and forth. Steve gives her a kiss on the cheek and says, “Do you want to go play in the water?” Nearby, there’s a section of concrete with jets that sometimes shoot up spurts of water. There are a few other people using it to cool off, including a few caregivers and their regressors. Wanda looks nervous and points at Bucky. “Daddy too.” 

“I can go with ya, little lady.” Bucky sits up and brushes some of his hair out of his face. “Here, let’s get your dress off.” 

Wanda has a little swimsuit on underneath her dress; a ruffled, pink one-piece with strawberries all over it and a little skirt that covers her pull up just barely. She’s never really been swimming before and Steve and Bucky really want to take her, but figure that they should get her used to the water first. Bucky helps Wanda slip out of her dress and then strips his own shirt off. The metal of his arm glints against the lights of traffic rushing by the park. 

Wanda still looks suspicious and holds onto him tightly. Bucky guides her over to the water and lets some of it splash onto him. “See? It’s fun. Look, baby.” 

Wanda extends her hand and jumps back a little when the water hits it, eyes wide. Within a moment, she’s smiling, and giggles when the water comes back up to splash her again. 

“There you go!” Bucky picks her up and swings her around, “You’re a brave girl. Hey, can you show me your dance?” 

Wanda steps back and spins around before doing a little jump. “Like that, Daddy.” 

“That was amazing. You’re amazing.” 

Wanda laughs and twirls around the water. “I’m a mermaid!”

“Are you sure? I thought you were my baby girl.” 

“Mermaid. You too.” 

“Oh boy. I don’t know if I’m cut out for being a mermaid, but I’ll do my best.” 

Steve calls over from his spot on the blanket, “Smile, you two!”

Wanda glances over just as the flash goes off. Steve spends a ton of time putting together photo albums, and taking pictures to go in them. Bucky groans. “That fucking camera again. Don’t repeat that word, Wanda.” 

“Camera?” 

“No, fu- nevermind.” 

Thunder starts to roll across the sky, and a few drops begin to trickle down from the sky. Bucky picks Wanda up again. “I think you’re wet enough already. Better head home before it starts raining cats and dogs.” 

“Cats?” Wanda looks up at the sky hopefully, as if a cat is going to fall right down into her awaiting arms. 

“Just an expression, sweetie. Sorry.” Bucky laughs, “Come on, let’s get you home.” 

 

 

They just barely miss the start of the downpour. As soon as everyone’s inside and Steve shuts the door, a loud clap of thunder sounds off. Wanda whimpers loudly. 

“Oh, princess,” Steve sighs, “It’s okay. It’s just thunder. It can’t hurt you.” 

“Don’ like it.” 

“I know. Hey, how about we get you into the bath and then we can have a snack and watch a movie? You won’t even notice the thunder, I promise.” 

Wanda chews on her lip. “Ariel?” 

“We can watch Ariel. Of course we can. Come on, you can’t be very comfortable like that. Buck, can you grab-“ 

“On it.” Bucky kisses Wanda’s forehead. “Be right back.”

Wanda’s a little wound up and keeps whimpering and sniffling while Steve bathes her. She holds her arms up towards him, eyes hopeful. 

“I know, I know. You can have cuddles in just a minute. Let’s get you all cleaned up first,” Steve rubs shampoo into her hair. He pauses when he takes notice of the little scars across her back. Some of them are more prominent than others, but he has no idea where any of them came from. Wanda has started to calm down a little bit when he gives her a bath, but she always tenses up when he touches her there. Steve tries to be gentle, but within a moment, he’s done something wrong-scratched her on accident, or grabbed her hair too hard. Either way, things start to fall apart. 

Wanda starts crying in earnest now, babbling out something completely incomprehensible. Steve’s heart starts to race. “Wanda, what are you-baby, can you calm down? Take a deep breath.” 

The babbling doesn’t stop. It’s trembling, fast, _terrifying_. Wanda seems almost out of breath as she stammers her way through it. She’s babbled before, but Steve has always been able to figure out what she needs. This time, he can’t understand her at all. Panicking, he lifts her up and wraps her in a towel before sitting on the bathroom floor and tucking her securely against his chest, rocking her back and forth. Bucky opens the door, obviously having heard the noise. “What’s going on?” 

“I don’t know,” Steve manages, “She just freaked out. I think it’s something I did. I didn’t mean to-“ 

“I know you didn’t, babe. It’s okay.” Bucky kneels down next to them and runs a hand through Wanda’s hair. “Hey, pretty girl. What’s going on?” 

Wanda keeps babbling, over and over, until it dawns on Bucky. “Steve, I think she’s speaking Sokovian.”

“What?” 

“Yeah. I picked up on some of it from one of the stagehands at work. She’s from Novi Grad.” 

That catches Wanda’s attention, and she suddenly stops her fit of babbling, looking as if she’s in shock instead. Steve strokes her cheek gently. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t know. I would never try to hurt you.” 

Wanda doesn’t say anything back. But she leans into his arms, and that’s enough to let him know that she’s not upset, not at him. He kisses her wet hair and whispers, “It’s okay. It’s okay.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/ You can leave me prompts or messages there or just drop one right here!
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is author. Author is hungry. Please feed the author with reviews.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments!

Wanda calms down after a little while, but she doesn’t want to let go of Steve. With some effort, he gets her dressed for bed, all the time reassuring her that he isn’t going anywhere, that she’s safe. He isn’t sure how much it really helps, since she stills whines in desperation and grabs at him when he lets her go for just a moment, but it’s the best he can do. 

“All done, baby,” Steve promises her, “I’m gonna give you your medication now, okay?” 

Wanda shakes her head. She tries not to fuss about medication, but in truth, she doesn’t like it. The pills feel like plastic, and they’re too big, and she hates putting them in her mouth, and worst of all, she’s so scared that they’re going to make her go all hazy. 

Medicine always makes her go hazy and then someone hurts her. Always. But if she gets upset about taking them, someone hurts her worse. It’s better just to let it happen. 

Steve gently squeezes her hand. “I’m going to help you through it, okay? I know you’re having a hard time tonight, but I promise there’s nothing to be scared of. You know how to take your medication, right?” 

Wanda purses her lips. Suddenly, she can see herself passing out, waking up, alone and - 

_Be a good girl._

Wanda shuts her eyes tight. She wants to be a good girl, she wants it more than anything in the world, because if she is, maybe her daddies will keep her and maybe they won’t hurt her. Maybe they’ll decide that they like things the way they are and they won’t do the things that Mister U did. 

She thinks that maybe she’s disappointed Daddy. He might have wanted her, and she ruined it. But he doesn’t seem angry. 

There’s something different about the way he holds her and kisses her and tells her that he loves her. It doesn’t make her feel sick and scared inside. 

“Come on,” Steve takes her hand. “We can do this. We’re gonna get through it together.” 

He lets her sit on Bucky’s lap and turns on her movie for her. Ariel swimming around discovering things from the human world becomes a good distraction. Steve gives her a pink plastic cup with juice and puts a pill on her tongue. “One, two, three, swallow.”

And Wanda cries, but she’s scared of what will happen if she doesn’t do it, so she prays that the pill won’t make her fall asleep. Bucky rubs her back and praises her. She wonders if it’s over. 

“Oh, you’re such a good girl. Great job, sweetheart! You did such a good job!” Steve kisses her face. Things hurt a little less. “We’re so proud of you.” 

It won’t last for long. 

It can’t. 

 

 

She’s asleep now. Wanda stayed awake all through _The Little Mermaid_ , and then Bucky rocked her to sleep in her bedroom before he tucked her in underneath the blankets and kissed her goodnight. With the soft glow of her nightlight she looked peaceful. So soft and sweet and perfect. 

He finds Steve sitting on the couch, googling. “What’re you looking at?”

“Google isn’t actually being helpful in providing resources for, _I don’t know what the hell happened to my little before I adopted her but I know it must have been bad because she’s freaking out and she speaks another language that I don’t understand, oh God please help me_.” 

“Heavy stuff.” Bucky sits down next to him. “I’m sorry, Steve.” 

“For what?” He shuts the laptop, leans back on the couch cushions and sighs. “I just…God, she’s the one for us. I know that.” 

“Me too.” 

“And I want to help her.” 

“Right.” 

“But I don’t know how. I don’t know what made her so scared. So now I’m thinking, this is like, the perfect little girl for us. But what if we can’t help her? What if we’re not perfect for _her_?” It all comes out in a rush. Steve always tries to think things through before panicking about them, but right now he absolutely does not know what to do and he feels sick to his stomach. 

Should they bring Wanda back so she can find someone who understands her better? Could he even bring himself to do that? The thought is so incredibly depressing that he finds himself unable to entertain it for more than a few seconds. 

“Steve, listen to me.” Bucky grabs his hand. “Babe, I know you’re freaking out and so am I. I mean, this is a really weird situation and all that shit. But look-when I saw her…and you know, you saw her too. It was like she was waiting for us. I really think she was. Look, I don’t know what happened to her. I don’t know if she knows how to tell us what happened. But we’re going to figure it out. I think. We can take turns figuring it out so if I fuck it up, you can take over. Team effort.” 

Steve cracks a smile. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?” 

“You have, but it never hurts to hear it again.” 

“Well, I do. God, I don’t know where I’d be without you.” 

“I do. In prison.” Bucky grabs the laptop and opens it up again. “Okay. I think the first thing we need to do is get her to a therapist. A professional might be able to help her more.”

“Good idea. I’ll call Dr. Palmer and talk to her about it.” 

“And there’s gotta be resources out there for at least taking care of littles with PTSD. That’s what we need to be looking at.” 

“Right.” Steve takes a deep breath. “Okay. We can do this, right?” 

“We can. All of us. You, me, and her.” 

Because no matter what, at this point, they’re in it together. 

 

 

The next day, Steve gets on the phone with a man named Bruce Banner while Wanda is in dance class. Dr. Palmer recommended him as a therapist, and he seems nice enough, but Wanda is so…breakable that Steve shudders at the thought of her being in a room with a stranger trying to talk about the things that have scarred her so badly. 

“She’s very shy,” he tries to explain,” She needs her blanket with her. And she’ll probably cry. I mean, just don’t get mad at her if she cries or freaks out. I swear, she really doesn’t know any better.” 

Bruce’s voice is serene, “Mr. Rogers, I promise that I’ve dealt with lots of traumatized littles before. I certainly won’t get upset with her. It sounds like you’re a little overwhelmed.” 

“Kind of,” Steve tries to explain, “It’s not that I’m frustrated. I love taking care of her. I just want her to be happy.” 

“I understand. You’ve made a great first step in looking for help, and I’m really looking forward to working with her.”

Comforting words, sure. Steve just isn’t sure how much it’s going to work in practice. He can only hope. After a quick goodbye, he hangs up the phone and walks back into the studio to sit next to Hope. She’s watching the littles dancing around together to Disney. Wanda and Ava are both hanging around at the back, hands held together. 

“They’re good for each other,” Hope tells him, motioning for him to sit down, “Ava’s so shy. It’s nice that she has someone to relate to.” 

“I think so too,” Steve agrees, taking a seat next to her. “I’m really glad Wanda made a friend. I was scared she’d be too nervous.” 

“Well, it always helps to find a kindred spirit.” Hope leans forward, tapping her perfectly manicured nails against her knee. “We should get them together outside of class.” 

“Definitely.” 

Hope offers him a smile. “You’re really wonderful with her, you know.” 

That takes him by surprise. “Thanks. I mean, I hope I am. I’m trying.” 

“Trust me, I can tell,” she laughs, “I mean, when you’re new at it. I needed someone to tell me I wasn’t completely screwing up when Scott and I took in Ava. So trust me, you’re doing fine.” 

Maybe Hope’s right. Steve looks ahead and sees Wanda twirling, the soft, floaty fabric of her short skirt spinning out with her. She’s everything he ever dreamed of. 

He has to do fine. He has to make sure of it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/ Leave me prompts, questions, or anything else you'd like!
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is author. Author is hungry. Please feed the author with reviews.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therapy with Bruce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooo sorry this is short! I really wanna do a long chapter, it's just hard to find the time and making sure I have enough material to include. Thank you for all the reviews, they really make me happy and motivated. I will try my hardest to post a new and long chapter soon.

Bruce Banner’s office _seems_ nice. It has pretty pictures on the walls of nice things like mermaids and flowers. Sunlight streams in through a big window, and there are toys and puzzles. Dr. Banner is friendly, and tells Wanda she can sit wherever she wants. She chooses a spot on the ground, in the corner, where she clutches her Hello Kitty and her blanket close to her chest. He sits down next to her and smiles. 

Wanda wants to cry. She wants her daddy, who’s waiting for her just outside. 

“Hi Wanda,” Dr. Banner says kindly, “I’m really glad that you came to see me today. How’re you feeling?” 

Wanda doesn’t say anything. She keeps her eyes on the ground, studying the pattern of the rug in front of her. It’s soft, with brightly colored shapes all pulled together. If she looks hard enough, she can focus on triangles and squares and ignore the fact that she’s here to talk to someone she doesn’t know and doesn’t yet like. 

She was scared when she heard that she was going to see a doctor, but he hasn’t stuck needles in her yet. Still, she feels sick and scared and just wants to run and hide. Wanda’s eyes fill with tears and she whimpers, “Daddy.” 

“I know, hon. Your daddy is right outside. I just wanted to talk to you for a minute,” Dr. Banner keeps his voice even and calm, “I see you brought some friends.” 

Wanda looks down at Blanket and Hello Kitty and nods. They’re here to keep her safe. She just doesn’t know if it’s enough. 

“Well you can keep them with you the whole time, alright? Can I ask you a few questions? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” 

Does she have a choice? Wanda starts to rock herself back and forth, imagining that she’s wrapped up in Daddy’s arms, getting her to sleep. She shuts her eyes and tries to force herself to hear his voice singing to her. 

“Wanda, it’s okay. Take a deep breath for me.” 

“I want Daddy.”  
“Okay. That’s just fine.” 

Bruce stands to leave the room and returns with Bucky a minute later. Wanda immediately runs and throws her arms around him. “Don’t like it.” 

“I know, honey. I know.” Bucky smooths her hair back, “But I really want you to give this a try. If you sit with me while you talk do you think that’d help? I promise I won’t let anything happen to you and you can take a break if it gets too scary.” 

Wanda really just wants to go home. She ends up sitting in Bucky’s lap anyways, rubbing the soft fabric of her blanket against her fingers. She wonders if maybe she’ll rub it so much that the fabric will split into tiny pieces and then it’ll be gone. The thought is terrifying, and she’s left with a feeling of complete confusion and emptiness. 

“Okay Wanda,” Dr. Banner says, “I think your blanket is really helping you, huh?” 

She nods. It is, and now she’s scared it’s going to disappear. She wants to disappear right along with it. 

“Do you mind if I ask where you got it?” 

Wanda knows exactly where she got it and who got it for her and it makes her heart clench up. Is she supposed to say it?She’s supposed to keep so many secrets. But he would never want her to keep this a secret, would he? 

He never asked her to keep secrets, now that she thinks of it. 

“Pietro.” 

Bucky stiffens. It’s the first she’s mentioned of him, and it comes out as a choked out whisper. This feels safer, better than when she was being bombarded with questions after she was found, made to feel like if she didn’t say and do the exact right thing she’d be in trouble. Then, she had shut down. Now she’s whispered her brother’s name. 

“Who’s Pietro?” Dr. Banner asks. 

Wanda squirms and looks around, suddenly feeling sick again. “Brother.” 

“Brother? Your brother?” 

“Uh-huh. Daddy, outside. Want out.” She feels her speech slipping away and her words come out all slurred and messy. Dr. Banner leans forward. “Wanda, where is your brother now?” 

She can’t think of it. It’s too scary, too awful, she misses him too much. 

_Red silk. Yellowish sheets. Cookies baking._

_It hurts so much. Why does it hurt so much? Is kissing supposed to hurt like this?_

Wanda screams. She doesn’t mean to, but she does. She jumps up and presses her hands to ears, then she grabs her hair, then she covers her eyes. Anything to shut out the world. 

“No, no, no. I don’t want it. I don’t want it!”

“Wanda-“ Bucky starts to speak, but Dr. Banner puts up a hand. “Honey, I want you to take a deep breath for me. In and out. Come on.” 

Wanda doesn’t want to breathe. She wants her pacifier, but in the absence of one, she puts her thumb in her mouth instead. Bucky takes her hand and tugs it away, flinching when she cries out. 

“Sweetheart, I know. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. I just…I haven’t heard you talk about your brother.” 

Wanda rubs her eyes. “Pietro.” 

“I know, I know.” 

“Wanda,” Bruce says softly, “I want you to try to breathe and stay calm. I know this is hard. Do you want to stop for now? We don’t have to keep talking if it’s too hard for you.” 

It is too hard. Wanda nods quickly. 

“Okay. Let me just talk to your daddy for a second and then you can get out of here, alright? You did a great job today.” 

Wanda closes her eyes. She’s dazed and in her own world now. Vaguely, she hears snippets of conversation between Dr. Banner and Bucky. 

“She’s never mentioned her brother before?” 

“No, never. We don’t really know….anything.” 

Maybe this was a mistake. 

Is she going to be in trouble? Has she said too much? Wanda shudders. 

“She’s a very anxious little girl,” Dr. Banner says, “I really want to keep working with her. Things will get better. This stuff always takes time.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/ Leave me prompts, questions, or anything else you'd like!
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is author. Author is hungry. Please feed the author with reviews.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go from 0 to 100 real quick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please heed tags. I beg of you. Heed the tags.

Wanda likes going to the store with Steve and Bucky. Sometimes she gets to look at the toys, even though she’d never dare ask for one. Steve and Bucky argue over what kind of milk to buy (“Skim milk _is_ real milk, Bucky, you idiot.”) Sometimes they get ice cream too. Steve lets Wanda push the cart really fast until Bucky tells them they’re going to get kicked out and that he isn’t going to bail Steve out of jail. 

Going to the store is fun. But today, both Steve and Bucky are distracted. Steve has a gallery show coming up, and he’s on the phone with someone trying to work out the details, while Bucky is exhausted after working really late the day before. Wanda is holding his hand, but it’s not exactly firm, and she finds her fingers slipping away now and again. Usually, they notice when she’s wet and needs a change, but right now, they’re both too caught up in other matters. Wanda doesn’t want to get in trouble by telling them, so she just squirms uncomfortably instead, trying not to whimper. 

Something about the store isn’t right today. She feels like someone is watching her. 

She looks over her shoulder constantly to try and double-check, but there’s nothing so far. Still, she doesn’t like it and doesn’t know how to explain it. Would they be upset with her if she told them that she’s scared and wants to leave?

Bucky lets go of her hand again to talk to Steve for a moment, who is covering part of his phone with his hand. Wanda spins around, trying to pass the time, and imagines that she’s in dance class with Miss Nat and Ava. Step, turn, jump…

Wanda becomes so lost in her own little world that she doesn’t even realize she’s moved too far away from her daddies and they’re too far away from her. In fact, she can’t see them at all. 

Suddenly, the store seems very unfamiliar. 

Swallowing a lump in her throat, Wanda feels herself start to panic. She turns around, looking for Steve and Bucky, then starts running to try and find them. Nothing. 

Now she’s in another section of the store and she’s really and truly lost and she starts to cry. 

_They left you. They left you because you’re a bad girl._

Suddenly, Wanda feels a hand on her shoulder. For a brief moment, she feels relief. They came back. 

“I’ve been looking for you.” 

Wanda’s heart turns to ice. Her whole body is frozen. She can’t move, she can’t even scream or cry. It’s not Steve or Bucky.

Mr. U is back. He’s back for her. He’s going to take her. 

“Look at me, Wanda.” He says roughly, “Are you still that stupid?” 

Fearing punishment if she doesn't obey immediately, Wanda turns around and looks up with tear-filled eyes. He’s still bigger and stronger and taller than her, with steely eyes to match his hair. It’s like he’s burning a hole in her heart. 

Mr. U smirks. “That’s better.” He keeps his voice calm and smooth and quiet. Nobody walking by would hear when he says, “Where did you think you were going to go, you little slut?” 

Wanda wants it to be a bad dream. She wants to wake up in Daddy’s arms and have him tell her that it’s okay, that it’s over. It wasn’t real. He loves her so much. He’d never let anything hurt her. 

“J-Jocasta,” Wanda stammers. She hadn’t gotten away on her own.

His eyes narrow. “She’s at home. We’re very upset that you left us, Wanda. Your brother left me in charge of you.” 

Jocasta can’t be upset. She helped Wanda leave. She left her with a note and told her to run and not say anything. 

She _wanted_ her to go. 

“Time to go,” Mr. U says, “Come on.”

Wanda starts sobbing, “No!”

Oh, that makes him angry. She’s not ever supposed to say no. Wanda knows that she’ll end up hurt for it. 

“Don’t you disrespect me, darling. You’re already in trouble for this little running away stunt.” His grip on her shoulder tightens. “But it’s good to see you again. You’re already doing things to me. Now stop crying. You’re not a baby. Let’s _go_.” 

Of all the places in the world, he had to end up here at the same time as her. 

Wanda is never going to see her daddies again. Her feet are moving. Mr. U is leading her away. 

“Is everything okay here?” 

A blonde woman in a bright pink dress, with a basket in her hand full of fruit, is looking at Mr. U with an accusatory face. She steps closer, turning her gaze to Wanda. “Are you alright, sweetie?” 

“She’s fine,” Mr. U says, “I’m taking her home.”

“Really? I thought I saw her earlier with someone else. They looked like her caregivers to me.”

The tension is thick, and Wanda holds her breath. It takes a moment, but Mr. U suddenly takes his hands off of her. “I was just leaving.” 

Before he strolls away though, Wanda distinctly hears, cold and calculating under his breath, “I am coming back for you.” 

The woman glares at him until he’s gone, then turns her attention to Wanda. “Did you know that man? Was he your daddy?” 

Wanda shakes her head. Not her daddy. Never, ever. 

“I should have called someone. I will call someone. Oh my God, that’s so scary.” Her hands flutter around as if she’s unsure of what to do with them. “Oh my God. Where’s your caregivers? I really did see you with them before. That was a bad man, honey.” 

She talks a lot, but Wanda likes this woman as much as she can like a stranger. She’s nice. She’s safe. 

“ _Wanda!”_

Relief sweeps over her. Suddenly, Steve and Bucky are both hugging her tight. They didn’t leave her after all. They might even still love her. 

“Sweetheart, where did you go? I’m so sorry, I should have been paying better attention,” Bucky says, pulling back, “But you have to stay with us, okay? We were scared that we had lost you.” 

The blonde woman speaks up, “You guys aren’t here with someone else by chance, are you?” 

Steve and Bucky both look at her in confusion. Steve says, “No, we’re not. Why?” 

“Because I just saw this creep talking to her. I have a little boy at home. I can sense vibes,” she says, “Bad vibes, and I saw her with you earlier, so it just seemed weird to me. He said he wanted to take her home.”

Steve’s face drains of color. “What the hell? Are you serious? Who?” 

“He took off, but she was pretty shaken up. I didn’t like how he was touching her.” 

Steve keeps talking to the woman while Bucky cups Wanda’s face in his hands. “Sweetheart, you do not ever, ever talk to strangers like that. Do you understand me? I’m not mad, I just need you to understand.” 

“Not stranger,” Wanda cries, her words coming out all wrong through her tears, “Mr. U.” 

Bucky’s face is confused, then fills with a hesitant realization. “Mr. U. Did you know that man?” 

“Uh-huh.”

“Where did you know him from? Sokovia?” 

She nods. “And here. House.”

“He has a house here? Where?” 

“Don’t know,” she shakes her head and suddenly sinks to the floor, her legs unable to support her aching heart and soul any longer. It’s like she’s underwater and she can only hear his voice above the surface. 

_Who’s holding me?_

Wanda panics. She can suddenly feel the hurt again. She’s on his bed. 

It’s dark again.

She’s screaming. 

 

Bucky thinks he could have blinked and missed it. Everything is in slow motion and too fast at the same time. One moment Wanda is with him. The next she’s gone. 

Now she’s on the floor, jerking slightly and barely breathing. 

“Oh my God,” Bucky drops to his knees, “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_!” 

Steve is on the phone again. This time he’s begging for help. 

“Wake up, Wanda. Wake the hell up, _please_ wake up!”

 

Wanda doesn’t think the world is moving quite right. 

_Red silk yellow sheets cookies baking_

_redsilkyellowsheetscookiesbaking_

_“Come here, darling. Give me a kiss.”_

_stopstopstopstop_

_“I said come here.”_

_redsilk yell ow sh eets co ooki es b a k i n g_

 

Slowly, Wanda becomes aware that she’s awake. She hears beeping sounds. She hears words like “anxiety attack” and “psychogenic blackout” and “PTSD.” 

All in unfamiliar voices. She wants to her daddies more than anything. 

“Is she gonna be okay?” 

Finally. 

Steve’s voice breaks, “Can I hold her?” 

“We’d like to get her changed first,” replies a voice that sounds kind, yet detached enough to be professional, “One of the nurses will-“ 

“No. I’ll do it.” 

There’s a pause. “Mr. Rogers, I-“

Steve cuts him off again, each word quivering. “No. You can’t have a stranger…I mean, I need to. She’s too little. She won’t understand. She’ll be scared.” 

He’s crying. Wanda doesn’t want Steve to cry. She whimpers loudly, trying to force her eyes open. It’s hard, harder than she ever could have imagined it would be. But finally, she’s really awake, or she thinks she is. Bright white lights blind her vision, and she cries out. Suddenly, Steve has her hand held in his. 

“Wanda, baby? Can you hear me? It’s okay. It’s okay.” 

“Daddy,” she chokes out, wanting nothing more than his reassurance that he wasn’t going to leave. 

“I’m here, baby. Daddy’s here.” 

Wanda reaches her arms up.They feel too heavy. “Wanna go. Go home.” 

“I know. I know. You’re in a hospital. We were scared that something…” he trails off. “We were so scared, honey. You had a panic attack. A really bad one. I’ve…I’ve just never seen that happen before.” He seems to be talking to himself as much as he is to her.

“We’re going to take you home. I promise we’re going to take you home. There’s just some people here who need to talk to you and…” 

Wanda doesn’t listen to the rest. She remembers. She remembers all of it and suddenly, she’s sobbing. 

“Oh baby. Oh sweetheart,” Steve gathers her up in his arms. Wanda realizes that she’s on a bed with rails on the side, and all white sheets. She still feels wet and uncomfortable. 

“Daddy, help.” How else is she supposed to say it? It’s too much. It’s too hard. 

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispers, “Bucky went to get your blanket and your pacifier. You can have whatever you want.” 

Wanda thinks that the only thing she wants then is to be held, so she keeps her mouth shut and curls up into Steve’s arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for any medical information that isn't entirely accurate.   
> Information on psychogenic blackouts: http://www.heartrhythmalliance.org/stars/uk/psychogenic-blackouts
> 
> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/ You can leave me prompts or messages there or just drop one right here!
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is author. Author is hungry. Please feed the author with reviews.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sooooo sorry this chapter is crappy I've been trying to fix it for days and I just gave up. Sorry. :(  
> Thank you for all the nice comments though WOW you have fed the author very much and I’m so happy

Steve wants to hold her close forever. He can briefly forget where they are, what happened, how goddamn _scared_ he was. It’s just the two of them holding onto each other, not knowing anything else in the world. 

Of course, the sounds of beeping and chatter and clanking bring them back to reality, and Steve has to face once again that they’re in a hospital and that he had thought briefly that Wanda might die. 

A brief, horrible thought. 

And then her pretty green eyes fluttered open. She’s breathing and awake and with him again. 

“Sorry,” Wanda mumbles through her tears, “Sorry, sorry.” 

“No, don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. I have you now. I’ve got you.” 

Wanda shifts and winces. “Hurts.” 

Steve repositions her on his lap and cups her face. “Can you show Daddy where it hurts?”

Wanda points to her head. She looks around at her surroundings, fear coming over her face again. It’s far too unfamiliar for her, and the sight of a woman in a nurse’s uniform doesn’t help either. She whimpers, panicked and loud, and tries to draw away. 

“It’s okay, Wanda. It’s okay,” Steve gently grabs her arm. “This is Nurse Temple. She’s been looking after you. She’s nice.” 

“You can call me Claire,” Nurse Temple smiles kindly, flipping her glossy curls over her shoulder to reveal her name tag. “I heard that you might be scared, but I promise we’re not gonna do anything to hurt you, okay? We’re here to help you feel better.” 

Wanda doesn’t believe her. The only doctor she wants is Dr. Palmer, and she doesn’t work in a hospital. 

Suddenly, she hears Bucky’s voice as he rushes into the room. He runs to throw his arms around her. “Oh my God. Oh my God, baby. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, I was so damn scared.” 

Wanda holds onto him as firmly as she can, which isn’t very hard since her arms still feel weak and heavy. Bucky talks a lot, more than he usually does. First to her, then to Steve, then to Claire. And Claire talks back.

“We want to keep her a little longer for observation, but if it really was triggered just by seeing this man, it might have been a trauma reaction. We just want to make sure.” 

“I don’t understand,” Steve sounds desperate, “This hasn’t happened before. That-that _man_ ….” 

“I know. It’s a good idea to get her back to see the therapist as soon as possible.” 

Steve looks over at Wanda, hidden in Bucky’s arms. “We always figured she had some kind of trauma. We just have no idea what happened.” 

Bucky stands up quickly, with Wanda still held close against him. “I’m going to go get her changed. And she needs to eat. So do you.” He looks pointedly at Steve, who knows what he’s trying to say. Don’t talk about it in front of her. Steve nods and keeps his mouth shut until Bucky is out of the room. 

“Are you her first caregivers?” Claire asks. 

“I don’t know. She said that guy had a house here. I wonder if she lived with him. I have no idea. She’s from Sokovia, and I really have no clue what happened there either. When we adopted her we were just told that she was found by herself with a note. And I don’t think she wants to talk about whatever happened before that. I don’t even know if she can.”  
Claire puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know this is really stressful for you. I promise I’m going to do everything I can to help her and make sure she’s okay. What I need from you is to be there for her. Can you do that for me?” 

It’s not even a question. Of course he can. 

 

Bucky tries to get Wanda cleaned up in the single-stall restroom, wiping off her face and laying her down to change her so she can be dry again because she’s been wet for so long and it’s killing him that he didn’t notice earlier.

“You’re being so good,” he tells her the whole time, “You’re okay.” 

Wanda starts crying again and says in a choked out little voice, “Daddy, my head.” 

“I know, babygirl. I’m so sorry. Daddy’s gonna fix it.” 

“Wanna go home.” 

“I know. I know.” 

Wanda suddenly cries out and jerks upward. Bucky thanks God that they’re in a bathroom because when she starts vomiting, at least she’s not doing it on the floor. He grabs her hair and holds it, rubbing circles on her back. 

He wants to fucking scream. How did they end up here, crying and throwing up on the floor of a bathroom in a hospital? 

Wanda is inconsolable, babbling partly in English and partly in Sokovian. Bucky holds her against his chest, rocking her back and forth. 

“Shhh. I know, I know. Poor baby. I know.” 

“ _I’m sorry_!” She sounds so goddamn scared and it just completely breaks his heart, as if it could have been more shattered than it already was. 

It’s painful and all too familiar. 

“Did you know I was in the hospital once too?” 

Wanda rubs her eyes with her fists, trying to stop the tears from coming. “N-no.” 

“I was,” Bucky says quietly, “I was just walking along a bridge. Someone wasn’t driving safely.”

A drunk driver, he’d found out later. 

“They ran right into me. I fell over the side, all the way down into the water with a bunch of rocks. And it hurt. I know it hurts. I woke up in the hospital and they told me I didn’t have my arm anymore. Then they started talking about cybernetic technology and surgeries and how they were going to give me this new one. But I was just hurt. I just wanted to go home. I know what it’s like to want to go home. But you know what?” He squeezes her shoulder gently, “Steve was there with me the whole time. He helped me. He still does. He’s gonna stay with you now too, and so am I.”

Wanda’s crying has subsided by now. She’s leaning back into him, just sniffling. Bucky keeps stroking her hair. It’s suddenly quiet, a brief reprieve from the beeping and chatter of the hospital. Just the two of them, holding onto each other. 

“I know it’s scary. But you’re so brave, and I would never let anything happen to you. I love you so much.You’re…” he swallows hard, “You’re the little girl we always dreamed of having, you know? I know that we were meant to take care of you. I’m going to take care of you. Can you trust me on that?” 

She replies quietly, “Yeah.” 

“Let’s get your pajamas on now, okay? Then I’ll have the doctor take a look at your head.” 

 

 

They give Wanda some medicine to make the hurt in her head go away. She’s distracted enough by her book that Bucky brought from home for Steve to get her to open her mouth and swallow it, even if she lets out a high pitched whine. 

“Good girl,” Steve rubs her back, “That’s gonna help your head, babygirl. You have to eat something now too, okay?”

She shakes her head, face going pale. 

“I know it’s hard, but we’ll help you. You can sit in my lap.” 

Wanda looks back down at her book. “No thank you.” 

Steve tries not to groan. “Baby, you have to eat something.” 

“I’m sorry. Gonna hit me. Sorry,” she mumbles. Her voice is tight. “Want night night. With Daddy.” 

“We can cuddle you sweetheart, but you have to…” Steve trails off and gives up. “Okay. Do you want to hear your story?” 

Wanda nods and hands it over to him. “Story.” 

Steve can’t refuse her. Not ever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/ You can leave me prompts or messages there or just drop one right here! I talk about this story a lot there since I just like shouting into the void about my own work.
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is The Author. The Author is hungry. Please feed The Author with reviews.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another visit with Bruce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowwow thanks for all the comments, guys! It means a lot!  
> Please heed the tags. There is very triggering content in this story and it is discussed in this chapter.

Wanda doesn’t get to go right home from the hospital. She goes to see Bruce instead. 

She’s still shy around him, even if he’s nice to her and has toys for her to play with and lets her color instead of talking too much. Wanda knows that she’s there for a reason, though. A grownup reason. A scary reason. 

She doesn’t want to think about it anymore. 

So when Steve and Bucky get her dressed in her pretty dress and take her from the hospital to his office, she wants to kick and scream and cry. The hospital was so scary. She wants to go home and read stories. 

Bruce can tell she doesn’t want to be there. 

“Hey Wanda,” he says in a casual tone as she tries to play by herself in a corner, “So I heard that you were just in a hospital.” 

She nods. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” 

Wanda shakes her head. She does not want to talk about it, not at all. 

Bruce presses forward as gently as possible, “I also heard you were a very brave girl.” 

Wanda doesn’t think she was brave. She cried the whole time and she couldn’t stay dry. Usually that would mean she gets hurt really, really bad. With a belt or a fist or some way that hurt her even more all over her whole body. 

_Kisses_. 

She looks up at Bruce and shows him the Barbie she’s holding. “She’s going to the party.” 

“Oh really? What kind of party?” 

“Friends party. Kisses. She’s gonna…be nice. She’s nice. Me too. But I’m a bad girl.” Her face scrunches up. “Bad.” 

“I don’t think you’re a bad girl,” Bruce tells her, “Why do you think you’re bad?” 

And Wanda can’t explain it, she’s too scared. How do you say it in the right ways? Some of the words they used feel so wrong. Can she explain it with what he said? 

She mumbles it briefly, then claps a hand over her mouth. She feels like she’s been punched again. 

“Wanda?” Bruce asks, “Can you say that again for me please? I didn’t hear you the first time.” 

She says it, but she hears it only in his voice. “Come here so I can fuck your brains out.” 

There’s a brief moment of silence. Wanda’s heart drops. She’s in trouble. He’s going to do it. Oh no. She’s made a mistake. He’s going to do it. 

Should she run? 

But then Bruce speaks, and he doesn’t sound angry. He sounds just the same. All calm and nice. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and looks at her seriously. “Wanda? Did someone hurt you?” 

Well, she knows that much is true. “It hurted me.” 

“Okay. How did he hurt you?” 

Hugs and kisses aren’t supposed to hurt. In the movies it looks so beautiful when Cinderella kisses her prince, and when her daddies give her hugs it never hurts. But isn’t that what it was? Wasn’t it hugs and kisses? 

So that’s what she says.   
Bruce repeats, “Hugs and kisses. Was it a hug and kiss like your daddies give you?” 

“No. No. I want Daddy. Go up.” Wanda stands and starts wandering around the room aimlessly, “Want Daddy.” 

“Wanda, it would be really good if you could tell me a little bit more about what you were just talking about,” Bruce says, “Would you like to take a break and then come back and talk some more?” 

Wanda doesn’t really want to talk about the hugs and kisses anymore at all, but the promise of a break and getting to see her daddies is enticing to her, so she agrees. Within a few minutes, Bucky and Steve have both walked back in. Wanda runs up to Bucky. “Up, Daddy. Up, please?” 

He picks her up and lets her hold onto him tightly, “You doing okay?” 

She doesn’t answer, just puts her thumb in her mouth and bites. Steve shakes his head and gently tugs it away from her mouth. “You’ll hurt yourself that way, babygirl. Do you want your paci instead?” 

“Uh-huh.” That does sound nice, even though she finds herself barely understanding what she wants right now. Things are so fuzzy. 

“Okay.Daddy will get it for you. Sit tight.” 

“There’s a few things I’d like to discuss with the two of you,” Bruce says, “I think that it’s really important. Wanda’s been doing a fantastic job today. She’s being really brave, aren’t you?” 

“Oh, are you?” Steve strokes her cheek with a finger, “Great job, sweetheart. You look a little tired, huh?” 

“She’s off her schedule now,” Bucky says, “She probably needs a nap.”   
Naps sound good. Wanda wants to snuggle with them both and read stories with her toys and sing songs. She doesn’t want to talk anymore. She feels so weak suddenly that she can barely move. 

“Daddy, no more,” she mumbles, tears filling her eyes, “Want home.” 

“No more talking? Are you sure? That’s okay,” Steve says, after an affirming nod from Bruce, “You don’t have to do anymore today.” 

“I’ll take her to the car if you two want to finish talking,” Bucky says, “I think her paci might get her to chill out a little.” 

Bruce nods and waits until Bucky has Wanda out of the room to speak. “Wanda and I had a really productive session today, but what she told me is disturbing. I know you were concerned about what might have happened to her before she came to you, and I do think that she was sexually abused.” 

Steve feels the world stand still. 

He’s suspected that someone hurt her for so long, and now someone else is telling him that it’s true. That she told him. His body isn’t even really on earth anymore. It’s somewhere else. The ringing in his ears, the knot in his stomach, none of it can possibly actually be happening. 

But it is. 

It’s happening. It’s so sickeningly real. 

“You need to connect with the people who adopted her out to you,” Bruce tells him, “I know that this is going to be hard to hear. You can sit down if you need to.” 

Steve can’t actually bring himself to sit down or move at all. He feels frozen in place. 

“Steve?” 

Snap out of it. 

He forces himself to speak. “N-no. I’m fine.” 

Bruce is talking to him almost in the same way that he talks to Wanda. He’s trying to keep him from completely flipping out.

“How do you know?” Steve blurts out. “Maybe she was confused. She gets confused sometimes.” 

“I don’t think she was. She told me that someone told her to…” Bruce pauses and clears his throat, “Well, she said that someone told her that they were going to fuck her brains out.” 

“ _What_?” He shouts it, unfrozen now. 

“I know, I know. This is always difficult to have to confront. But Steve, she’s really going to need you right now. I think that whoever she saw that caused her to have a panic attack may have been someone who abused her, and it could really set her back if she doesn’t get the help she needs-“ 

“I can’t do this,” Steve’s voice is shaking, “I’m sorry. I have to…I have to go to her.” 

“I understand. I would like to speak to her again at our usual time. Please try to stay calm around her. The last thing you want to do is make her think that she did something wrong. She was very brave in telling me, and I hope she knows that.” 

“I don’t want her to be brave,” Steve snaps, “I want her to be safe.” 

“And she _is_ safe with you.” 

Steve, who could barely speak a moment ago, suddenly finds a million words pouring out. “How? How is she safe? With that freak running around out there and bothering her? I lost sight of her for one minute and the next thing I know we’re in the hospital. How do I know this guy isn’t looking for her? What am I supposed to do when she wakes up crying because she’s scared of him? Because she has nightmares all the time. Now I fucking know why. Jesus Christ.” 

It doesn’t even sound like him. The person yelling in this psychiatrist’s office is a pained, angry, hurt man who has no idea what to do. In that moment, Steve just wants to go grab Wanda and Bucky, bring them both home, hold them both close in his arms forever. 

“How can I promise her that I won’t let anything happen to her?”

 

 

The ride home is tense and quiet. Wanda sucks on her pacifier and doesn’t say anything the whole time, even though Steve is silently begging her to say something, anything. Say something that will make him realize it was all a big misunderstanding. Bucky keeps giving him worried glances, unaware of what happened. 

_You’re gonna have to tell him._

Steve realizes with a jolt that Bucky might try to kill the guy if he sees him again. By the time they get home, he’s gone through a hundred different scenarios in his head about how to best talk to him. 

“Back home,” Bucky tells Wanda as soon as they’re inside. “Are you glad?” 

She nods, yawning so her pacifier falls out of her mouth. She looks shocked and upset and looks up at him, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. Bucky tries not to laugh and picks it back up. “It’s okay honey. Here you go. I think it’s time for your nap, huh?” 

“With you,” Wanda tugs his hand, “Story, please.” 

“Okay. Let’s go pick out a story.” 

“Buck, I need to talk to you,” Steve says tightly. 

“Lemme get her down first.” Bucky picks her up so she can rest her head on his shoulder. Wanda’s eyes are closed, but they open briefly to meet Steve’s. 

They’re sad and scared. Full of love and full of hurt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/ You can leave me prompts/ideas or messages there or just drop one right here! I talk about this story a lot there since I just like shouting into the void about my own work.
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is The Author. The Author is hungry. Please feed The Author with reviews.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance class and separation anxiety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys sucky chapter. :( But I promise the next one will be better.

“Alright everyone, now jump as high as you can! That’s it! Good job!”

Wanda shuts her eyes tight and pretends that she’s a beautiful fairy. If she thinks hard enough, she can see herself with pink hair, pretty wings, and sparkles all around her. Ava’s there too. She’s a purple fairy, since purple is her favorite color. 

When she opens her eyes, she’s back in the dance studio with Miss Nat leading everyone from the front. She’s teaching them how to do jumps with fancy names in another language, and none of them are very good at it yet, but it’s still fun, especially with the music and the way the floaty skirt attached to her leotard spins out and around. 

She feels Ava’s fingers brush against hers and Wanda blushes. Ava’s really pretty. 

“Wanna be dance partners?” 

They’re always partners in every class, so asking is more of a formality. Wanda nods and curtsies to her before taking her hand so they can spin around together. Ava giggles, “I’m Aurora. Who’re you?” 

Wanda thinks for a moment. “Cinderella.” 

Her favorite. She didn’t used to have a favorite, but she does now. Maybe it’s because she thinks she could be just like Cinderella if she got a makeover that made her beautiful like a real princess. 

Ava talks quietly just like Wanda does, and she likes it that way. “On Halloween we can be princesses. And go trick or treating. I was a bunny before.” 

“What’s that?” Wanda asks curiously. She’s heard of Halloween in very vague terms before but doesn’t really understand it. They didn’t have it in Sokovia. 

“You dress up,” Ava explains, “And candy. They give you it.” 

That sounds like fun. Wanda wishes that they could have had Halloween in Sokovia. She was hungry all the time there, but if people just give her candy, she wouldn’t be hungry anymore. She asks Ava if they can have Halloween after dance class. 

Ava sighs sadly, “No, we gotta wait a whole year. But it’s so fun. Daddy showed me a scary movie last year. And Mommy yelled, _‘I can’t believe you’d show that to her, Scott!’_ And then Daddy couldn’t pick the movie anymore.” 

Wanda listens, enraptured. Ava’s smarter than her, and she talks better than she does, even if she’s shy too. Wanda stumbles over her words too much and sometimes she’s so little she can’t talk or do anything for herself at all. She feels like she’s probably annoying and bad. One day, her daddies will get tired of her. They’ll start hitting her. 

Ava takes her hand and twirls her around. She can always tell when something’s wrong. “Don’t be sad. You’re Cinderella.” 

  


  


Steve leans forward, keeping his eyes on Wanda spinning around with Ava. She looks happy for the time being, more carefree than she has been in the past couple of days. They wanted to get her back to a normal routine as soon as possible, and dance class always makes her happy. But it doesn’t change the fact that there’s nothing normal about her conversations with Bruce or what she’s slowly been hinting at to them. 

There’s nothing really that they can do directly to get her to talk about what happened. There are pamphlets and websites full of techniques that they’re supposed to use to talk to her, but none of them make it particularly easy for anyone involved. Wanda’s still too freaked out to have any kind of serious discussion about it. She just drops little bits of information that make Steve sick to his stomach. Someone touched her in a weird way at a party. It hurt when they kissed her. Sometimes they made her go to sleep and it didn’t hurt as bad. Sometimes it hurt more. 

And all the time, he hit her because she was bad. 

“You look stressed out,” Hope tells him. It’s not rude, she knows what’s been going on. Ava wanted to know why Wanda wasn’t in dance class when she had to go to the hospital, and Steve had tried his best to explain to Hope. 

“She’s going through a hard time. Therapy is tough,” he says. He remembers when Bucky had to go talk about what happened after the accident. It hadn’t been easy then either. 

“Why don’t you give yourself a little break?” Hope suggests, “I can take her to play with Ava after class if you want.” 

Steve shakes his head. He’s not quite ready to leave Wanda alone with anyone yet, especially since he can see diaper changes with someone she doesn’t know well enough being an issue. She has enough of a problem with it when it’s just him. “Thank you, but that’s okay. She’s…” 

“I get it. Trust me, Ava would not go anywhere without us after we adopted her. It was mommy and daddy or nothing,” she laughs. “But really, if you ever need a few hours with your husband or something, we’d be happy to take her.” 

“I appreciate that,” Steve says, grateful. Just as Wanda and Ava have become friends, he’s found himself happy to have found a new friend in Hope too. “Maybe we can take them to the zoo or something.” 

“That’s a good idea. I’ll see if Scott’s up for it.” 

Class lets out, and the students come streaming out of the studio, chattering to each other excitedly. Wanda and Ava are still holding hands, and Wanda has her thumb in her mouth. She runs up to Steve and settles herself in his lap. He kisses her cheek and asks, “Did you have fun? You girls were doing such a good job in there.” 

She nods, not answering verbally. 

“Mommy, can Wanda come play?” Ava asks hopefully. 

“Not today, sweetheart. But you two can see each other another time.” Hope kisses her forehead. “Let’s get you home. Say goodbye.” 

“Bye,” Ava waves and blows Wanda a kiss, “I had fun.” 

Wanda takes her thumb out of her mouth just long enough to blow her a kiss back and smiles, “Me too.” 

  


At home, Wanda doesn’t want to come off of Steve’s lap, so he lets her sit with him while he helps her eat. She doesn’t struggle quite as much with it as she did before, but she’s still messy and sometimes she still gets upset and scared, so Steve makes sure to praise her for making progress. They noticed really quickly that she seems more or less scared of someone getting mad at her for eating. She squirms around a little in his lap and sighs, “Daddy, I’m Cinderella.”

“Oh yeah? You’re a pretty princess,” Steve leans back on the couch and keeps his arms wrapped securely around her. “I love you.” 

“Forever? And ever?” 

“Forever and ever. We’ll always love you. You’ll always be our baby girl.” Steve taps on her arm gently when he notices her sucking her thumb again. “Do you want me to get your paci instead?” 

Wanda shakes her head emphatically. “No. Stay. Please.” 

“Oh sweetie, I wouldn’t be leaving you. It’d just take a second.” 

Wanda turns to face him, a panicked look on her face. Her legs are on either side of his waist now and she’s grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, hands quaking. “No, no. Want Daddy.” 

Steve gently pulls her hands off and sits up so he can hold her close to his chest. “Hey, hey. Daddy’s not going anywhere. What’s going on?” 

Wanda isn’t sure what’s going on. She just knows she suddenly feels scared and sick. She just knows that he can’t leave. She just knows that if he leaves, someone might come back and take her away. 

She doesn’t know how to scream _please don’t leave me._ She can hear herself and she’s babbling again. 

“Shhh, shhh. Oh, angel.” Steve starts to rock her back and forth, “It’s okay. You’re just a little wound up, huh? It’s okay. Daddy’s got you. You’re such a good girl. You’re such a sweet girl. I love you so much, baby. I’m not leaving you.”

Even when he starts to sing to her, those are the words Wanda keeps turning over in her mind. _I’m not leaving you._

She tries to believe it, she wants to believe it so badly. She just keeps holding on and letting him rock her until she does. She feels so shaky and helpless, but secure as long as he has her in his arms and sings to her. Steve told her her once that he doesn’t like to sing in front of anyone else. It’s special, just for the two of them together.

“Sweet baby,” he murmurs, stroking her hair. “You’re okay. Can Daddy give you a bath?” 

She shakes her head. 

“Okay. We can try later.”

Wanda shudders, but tries not to think about it. She just curls up in Steve’s arms and tries not to think about anything but the way she feels right then. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually liked writing some of this even if I don't think it turned out too good. But yeah. Next chapter, bathtime, medication, and sleeping struggles.
> 
> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/ You can leave me prompts/ideas or messages there or just drop one right here! I talk about this story a lot there since I just like shouting into the void about my own work.
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is The Author. The Author is hungry. Please feed The Author with reviews.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER BAD CHAPTER SORRY. Actually I don't think it's THAT bad but I'm nervous about posting l it so please go easy on me. No meanness would be appreciated. 💖 thank you and thank you for all the comments!
> 
> Brief discussion and fade to black for consensual sex in this chapter.

Bucky happens to come home from work late that night to find Steve and Wanda on the floor of her room reading a book about kittens. Wanda is wrapped around Steve with no apparent intention of letting go until she sees Bucky and runs up to greet him. Bucky lifts her up and kisses her cheek, “Hey, sweetheart. How was dance?” 

Wanda hides her face in his shoulder and mumbles something about Ava and fairies. He pats her back and flashes a smile at Steve. “Sounds like you had a good time. I hope you tortured your daddy the whole time.” 

“She wasn’t that bad,” Steve says in a light tone, “But I think it’s time for her to have a b-a-t-h.” 

Wanda is only good at spelling a few little words and can’t quite work that one out no matter how hard she tries. When she tries to sound it out it doesn’t come out right so she gives up and points back to the book instead. “Daddy, story.” 

  
“I know, I know. We’ll finish the story later. Do you want to be a mermaid right now? You can pretend you’re Ariel.” 

Wanda considers it. Being a mermaid does sound fun, and she can’t think of any reason to object to being Ariel, so she agrees. After all, water could be fun, like when they were at the park and she got to splash and jump in it. 

“Okay sweetheart,” Bucky ventures, “Do you want to try and get yourself undressed so you can get in the bath or do you want Daddy to help you?”  
Wanda insists, “Me. Big girl.” 

“You sure are, but it’s okay if you can’t do it all by yourself. You can try, though. And then you’re gonna need to take your medication, okay?” They try to remind her of it before she has to so it doesn’t come as a surprise. Medication can still be an issue, even after they let her decorate the pill bottle with sparkly princess stickers to make it less scary. 

As it turns out, Wanda struggles with getting undressed by herself. Her hands fumble with the buttons on her dress, and it isn’t long before she freezes, eyes wide in fear. She starts tugging frantically at the fabric, trying to get it off and failing miserably until she starts to panic. 

“Hey, hey.” Bucky leans down and takes both her hands in his. “It’s okay. How about Daddy helps you a little bit?” 

Wanda shakes her head. “Gotta be a big girl.” 

“You still can be, sweetheart. Everyone needs some help sometimes. Here.” Carefully yet quickly, he undoes the buttons on her dress and slips it past her shoulders. Wanda tenses up, so he tries to be as fast as he can with everything else. “There. That’s not too bad. Ready to go be Ariel?” 

“Mermaid.” 

“That’s right. You’re a mermaid.”

It’s obvious that she’s stressed out, and Bucky is making it his mission to try and get through bathtime as painlessly as possible without a fight. 

Obviously, he can’t blame her. He knows now why she probably doesn’t love being naked. It’s not her fault. He tries to minimize it right now by letting her pick out a soft, pink nightgown to wear afterward. Right then, it’s pretty much all he can do. 

Wanda gets into the bath without much complaint but starts pulling her hair and rocking back and forth once Bucky starts to wash her hair. He stops and puts a hand on her shoulder. “Baby, it’s okay. Deep breaths.” 

“No!” She says it so forcefully that it takes him by surprise. Wanda looks shocked too, and claps a soapy hand over her mouth, looking absolutely horrified. “No, no, no. Sorry, Daddy. Sorry. Sorry. Please.” 

“Shhh. Wanda.” Bucky shakes his head. “I’m really proud of you for saying that.”  


She looks absolutely baffled. “Why?” 

“Because I want you to know that it’s okay to say no. If you don’t want to be touched, that is your choice and it is okay to say that you don’t want it. Understand?” 

He doesn’t think she does. She looks almost blank. There’s a faint spark in her eyes he can see, like maybe there’s a section of her mind that knows what he’s saying is true, but it’s buried too deep to come out. 

“If you don’t want me to wash your hair right now, we can take a minute,” he tells her, “You tell me when you’re ready.” 

And Wanda does. 

Bathtime takes a little longer that evening, but amidst the bubbles and lavender-scented shampoo, Bucky can’t help but consider it a win. It’s easier when she’s calm to get her out of the bath and get her dressed again, to hold her on his lap and give her her medication. It’s a little white pill that she holds in her hand for just a moment before swallowing it with apple juice from a unicorn cup. Bucky rubs her back and tells her that she’s good, she’s so good. He’s so proud of her. 

“I love you.” 

She doesn’t answer, but she does snuggle up closer to him, which is more than enough. Routine calms her down, so Bucky makes sure to stick to it exactly, helping her dry her hair off before he helps her brush her teeth. He finally picks her up so he can put her in bed, but her grip on him only tightens when they get to her room. He sighs and quietly says, “You have to get some sleep, baby.” 

She whines, a sound that clearly says _I am not going to make this easy for you._ Bucky sits on the bed with her still in his arms. Usually, stories and singing calm her down. “Should we read a book? The three of us together?” 

“Uh-huh,” that perks her up right away. “Daddy and Daddy.” 

“Okay. Let’s pick out a few stories.”

Wanda takes him by the hand and leads her over to the bookshelf against the wall. She loves being read to, or just looking at the pictures by herself and trying to sound out words. Books were one of the first things Steve and Bucky went to get when they decided to adopt, and it definitely paid off. 

“Ponies,” Wanda says, picking out a My Little Pony book, “And butterfly kiss.” 

“Butterfly Kisses? Okay. Those can be your two for the night.”

So when Steve comes in, things get soft and quiet. All that is heard above the gentle whirring of the fan is whispered stories illuminated by a pink lamp. Wanda snuggles between the two of them with her pacifier in her mouth, intently watching Steve’s finger point at each word as he reads it. She stays awake through both books, but when Bucky starts to sing _You Are My Sunshine,_ she starts to drift off. A few songs later, and she’s completely asleep. 

“I think she’s out,” Steve whispers, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “Nice job tonight.” 

“I try.” Bucky flashes him a smile and kisses her too before getting up slowly and shutting off the lamp. “I don’t have to be at work till later tomorrow.” 

They don’t shut the door all the way, leaving it open a crack just in case. As soon as they’re alone in their room, Bucky shuts the door and pulls Steve into a heated kiss. It lasts about a minute until Steve finally pulls back and runs his hands through his husband’s dark hair. “What was that all about?” 

“I told you I don’t have to be at work till later tomorrow. We can…stay up a little later.” They can’t exactly have sex whenever they want anymore, and while of course, they wouldn’t trade it for the world, some time alone is nice too. 

Steve glances at the shut door, then averts his eyes back. “Think you can be quiet?” 

“With you?” he jokes, “No promises.” 

Steve smirks and pulls him in close. “We’ll just have to try.” 

 

 

Trying paid off, Bucky thinks as he lays there in the dark with Steve beside him. They’re both sweaty and tired and worn out but _fuck_. It was good. 

“I love you,” Steve says, breathless. “So goddamn much.” 

“You too.” Bucky rolls over to kiss him again. “You want me to get you some water?” 

“No, I got it.” Steve sits up and yawns. “You did all the work.” 

Before Bucky can come up with any kind of witty comment in return, a familiar cry sounds out from the baby monitor set up on the bedside table. Steve scrambles out of bed and stumbles around trying to grab his clothes. “Shit, shit, shit.” 

“Here,” Bucky tosses a shirt at him. “Go. I’ll be there in a minute.” 

Steve stumbles the his own feet trying to get down the hall until he flings the door open to Wanda’s room. She’s on her floor, but pressed against the bed - probably fell out since they forgot to put the rail up - with her blanket clutched against her chest. She screams as soon as she sees him enter. “No, no! It hurts! Hurts me! No kisses!”

Steve switches the lights on, bleary-eyed. “Baby, it’s just me. What happened?” 

Wanda seems to have been half asleep, not recognizing him when he walked in. Now that the lights are on, he sees recognition light up her eyes right before her face crumples and she holds her arms out, sobbing. “Daddy.” 

Steve sits on the floor with her and pulls her onto his lap, rocking her back and forth. “Did you have a bad dream, sweetheart?” He has a sinking feeling he knows exactly what it was about, and who she thought it was in her room. “Shhh, Daddy’s here. I won’t let anything hurt you. You’re okay. Shhh.” 

Wanda rubs her eyes with her fists and sniffles, “No more night night.” 

“Oh, honey. You’ve gotta go night night again. It’s okay, you aren’t gonna get hurt.” Steve rocks her, “You’re going to have happy dreams.” 

She shakes her head. “Want up.” 

“You can be up in the morning, but it’s time for little girls to sleep right now. You’ll be too tired to play tomorrow.” 

“No,” she’s crying harder now, “No, Daddy.” 

Bucky walks in with a bottle in hand. “I thought you might need this.” 

“Thanks,” Steve says gratefully, taking it and holding it up to Wanda. “You want some water, baby? That might help calm you down.” 

“Want Daddies.” 

“She can sleep with us,” Bucky says quietly, “Let me just go get it ready. You stay here with her.” 

“Good idea. You want to sleep with us tonight, baby?” Steve brushes Wanda’s hair away from her eyes. “If you have your bottle and can sleep with us do you think you can go night night?” 

Wanda looks skeptical but interested in the prospect of getting to snuggle with her daddies, so she doesn’t complain about it. She allows Steve to slip the silicone nipple into her mouth so she can drink, closing her eyes and leaning against him. 

But this time, she can’t fall back asleep. Not even when she feels herself being picked up and she’s carried to their bed to cuddle. Her diaper is wet and she can’t bring herself to say anything. She suddenly finds she doesn’t know how, or maybe she’s just too scared again. She’s sweaty and uncomfortable but presses herself against the comforting warmth of her daddies to try and forget about it completely. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: The zoo, a present, happier times. 
> 
> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/ You can leave me prompts/ideas or messages there or just drop one right here! I talk about this story a lot there since I just like shouting into the void about my own work.
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is The Author. The Author is hungry. Please feed The Author with reviews.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screams* YOUR COMMENTS ARE SO NICE THANKS GUYS   
> no really i appreciate it so much wow

They’ve seen a lot of animals at the zoo today, but Wanda likes all the ones that look like cats the very best. She stands on her toes so she can see the tigers, clutching Ava’s hand in her own. “I wanna hug them.” 

“Me too,” Ava says, “But I think they would eat us. I have a tiger. But she’s not real. Her name’s Ghost, ‘cause she’s a white tiger.” 

The grownups have been planning to get the girls together somewhere outside of dance class for a while now, and today is finally the day that Wanda and Ava get to go to the zoo together. It’s bright and sunny but not too hot since there’s a slight breeze in the air. It’s a crowded Saturday though, and Bucky and Scott, Ava’s daddy, are holding onto their girls firmly so they don’t get lost. Hope and Steve keep taking a lot of pictures instead.

“Come on, ladies,” Hope says, “You can see a few more things before we have lunch. Do you want to see the lemurs?” 

“Like Zaboomafoo,” Ava says cheerily, “Come on, Wanda. I’ll show you.” Since Wanda hasn’t ever been to the zoo before, Ava is excited to show her all there is to see. 

It’s definitely an exciting experience. Wanda loves animals, and although she was a little disappointed to hear that unicorns were not a real animal that you could see at the zoo, she’s still having fun with everything else, especially since Ava is there. They’ve seen tigers and giraffes and pandas, all things that she’s only ever seen in picture books and on TV before. 

“Don’t you guys want to see the dragons?” Scott jokes, “I hear that a new one was just hatched.” 

Ava looks up at the sky a bit nervously and comments, “Dragons can be scary. But some are good, maybe. In _My Little Pony_ , Spike is a dragon. And you have ponies on your shirt,” she points. Wanda does have a _My Little Pony_ shirt on, one of her favorites. 

“Dragons aren’t real,” Hope says, poking Scott’s arm. “Your daddy is just silly. But lemurs _are_ real, so let’s go find them.” 

“Do you want to be a lemur?” Ava asks Wanda, “I want to be a dolphin. And live in the water with mermaids.” 

“Wanna be a cat.” Cats are soft and warm and when they sleep, nobody hurts them. “Wanna pretend?” 

Ava giggles, “Okay. I dunno know how to make a dolphin sound so I’ll just say splash and you say meow.” 

Hands clasped together, it’s easy to forget for a brief moment that they have caregivers looking after them while they take off running, laughing in between splashes and meows. When they trip and Wanda scrapes her knee a little but she doesn’t cry. She’s having too much fun. She feels too free. Ava helps her up, unable to keep a smile off her face, “Are you okay?” 

“Uh-huh,” Wanda nods, brushing her light blue cupcake skirt off. She doesn’t always like getting messy, but it’s more fun with a friend. It doesn’t even take a minute for the grownups to catch up with them, all looking slightly exasperated but not mad. 

“Wanda, what did we talk about today?” Steve sighs, smoothing back her hair. 

“Stay with Daddy,” she says, cheeks going pink. She’s not a rulebreaker by any stretch of the means - not on purpose anyway. She’s only had to go in time out a few times and she automatically feels guilty every time she does. 

“That’s right. You guys need to stay close, okay? We don’t want you getting lost.” 

“Sorry. Sorry, Daddy.” 

“It’s okay. I just don’t want to lose ya. This is a big place.” In truth, Steve is actually happy to see Wanda be so carefree. If it takes a new friend for her to come out of her shell, he’ll take it. 

It’s not that he doesn’t love her when she’s shy and quiet. But she deserves to e a little wild too, just like any other little. 

Wanda and Ava are delighted by the lemurs and keep up their animal pretending while sticking close to their caregivers. At one point, Bucky quietly tells Steve that there’s something he wants to go get. “You guys go have lunch. I’ll meet you before we go.”   
Steve nods and calls the girls back from the lemur enclosure. “Hey girls, do you want to eat now?” 

Ava says yes, but Wanda gets her usual anxious look that always comes about when she’s around food. Steve gives her a reassuring hug. “Hey. It’s okay. Daddy’s going to help you. Come on, let’s go find somewhere to sit down.”

“I wanna see the seals, Mommy,” Ava says hopefully, “Can we see the seals?” 

“Eat first, then you can. Are you a seal?” 

“No, Mommy,” she laughs, “I’m a dolphin. Wanda’s a cat.” 

“Ah, I see. Well, I hope dolphins and cats like sandwiches.” 

They find a grassy area to sit down near the lemurs so they can still watch them. Scott makes the girls laugh by sticking two straws in his nose and saying he’s a walrus who also belongs in the zoo until Hope rolls her eyes and tells him that he’s going to give them _ideas_. 

“Daddy’s a walrus and I’m a dolphin. So Mommy’s a…fish.” Ava says. 

“Mommy’s a mommy.” Hope adjusts the polka dot headband in Ava’s hair. “But if I have to be a fish, I think I can live with it.” 

Wanda feels a little sad that Ava can eat almost all by herself and she still needs to sit in Steve’s lap while he helps her with everything, but Ava doesn’t comment on it at all or seem to think it’s odd. She still needs a little help too, even if it’s not quite as much. When she’s done, Steve praises her for doing such a good job and gives her a kiss. “I’m so proud of you.” 

“No more, please.” Wanda shakes her head. She already feels a little sick. 

“Okay. You did a really good job, sweetheart.”

Ava squirms as Scott wipes her mouth off. “Can we go see the seals now?” 

Hope looks up from her phone. “Let’s take you to go potty first, then we can see a few more things before we go.” 

“I should see if you need a change too, sweetie,” Steve helps Wanda up, “Come on.” 

Wanda glances back over her shoulder. She’s been trying not to have an accident all day and she doesn’t want him to know that she already failed. She wishes she could be a big girl. Big girls don’t get hit with a belt because big girls don’t have accidents. 

Of course, neither Steve or Bucky have hit her with a belt yet, or with any of the other things she expected to be punished with. But she expected it to come sooner or later. 

Maybe she can try. Maybe she can keep it from happening. When Steve takes her into the restrooms and lays her down on one of the changing tables in a stall, she tells him that she doesn’t need him to change her anymore, that she can be big.

“Oh honey,” Steve tries not to laugh, “You don’t have to be big.” 

“Wanna be,” she insists, “I can do it.” 

  
“Wanda, you’re just….I don’t think you’re ready.” 

Wanda can’t help but be terribly confused. Does he _want_ to hit her? Daddy always says he loves her so much and she can’t understand why he would want to hurt her like Mr. U did. 

Maybe that’s what love was. Sometimes the men who visited her said they loved her too. Wanda sucks on her thumb and vows to herself that she’s at least going to try. Maybe Daddy will be so proud of her for being a big girl that he’ll never hit her at all. 

“All done. What a good girl,” Steve praises her, “Ready to go see the seals?” 

“Uh-huh.” Seals are fun. 

Both Wanda and Ava have missed their naps that day, so they’re a little sleepy by the time they’re all done with the seals and a few other animals that they wanted to see. Steve and Hope insist on a few more pictures of them together before they decide to pack it up and head home. Bucky showed up a little earlier with a bag in his hand, although he won’t tell Wanda what it is until they get home, so she’s anxious to go even if she’s sad to say goodbye to Ava. 

“Bye Wanda,” Ava hugs her, “I had fun.” 

“Me too. Are you still a dolphin?” 

“Uh-huh. Are you a cat?” 

“Meow.” Wanda grins at her and then they both burst out laughing. Hope shakes her head, smiling. “Okay, ladies. Let’s go. It was nice to see you, Steve.” 

“You too. And it was nice to meet you, Scott.” 

“Oh yeah. I’m really glad Ava’s got a friend.” Scott picks her up and swings her around. “Let’s do it again soon.” 

 

 

Wanda stays awake on the car ride home so she can see what Bucky has in the bag. When they get home, he sits her down on the couch and tells her to open it. “It’s for you.” 

Wanda stares, eyes wide. “Me?” She’s still not used to receiving presents. Steve looks curious too. 

“Yeah,” Bucky smoothes her hair back. “I know you get scared by yourself sometimes. I thought that maybe this would help.” 

In the bag, there’s a toy lion cub just like they saw at the zoo. Wanda gasps in delight and hugs it tightly to her chest. “Thank you, Daddy! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” 

She’ll never misbehave, she’ll be a good girl forever just to show him how grateful she is, but she can’t think of how to express that right then, so she just settles for throwing her arms around him in a hug. Bucky laughs and kisses her cheek. “Press his paw.” 

Wanda does, and feels herself become even happier when she hears Bucky’s familiar voice coming from the lion saying, “ _I love you, sweetie_.”

“There,” Bucky tells her, “So when you’re by yourself, you just press right there and you know that I love you and I’m always gonna be here for you. Okay?” 

Wanda nods, so happy she’s unable to speak. She snuggles up close to him, still holding her cub in her arms. Steve leans over to give his husband a quick kiss, moving over so he has his arm around his shoulder, whispering, “Nice one.” 

“I do pull it off every once in awhile.” Bucky leans against Steve, still keeping his arms around Wanda. For a moment, they can all be there, curled up together. Quiet and safe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to rainbow_Daisies_Make_me_Smile for the "I Love You" voicebox stuffed animal idea! Thank you for the prompt, I thought it would fit perfectly into this chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed some fluff. 
> 
> Next up: Wanda puts her whole "try to be a big girl" plan into action.
> 
> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/ You can leave me prompts/ideas or messages there or just drop one right here! I talk about this story a lot there since I just like shouting into the void about my own work.
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is The Author. The Author is hungry. Please feed The Author with reviews.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! i'm super nervous about posting this chapter because i feel like I might get some hate on it so please be gentle I am only a sensitive soul. AND THANKS FOR ALL THE NICE REVIEWS wowowow
> 
> Warning for brief suicidal/self-harming thoughts.

Bucky is awakened by the sound of a phone alarm beeping and Steve stumbling around their room trying to get ready. He yawns and sits up, brushing his hair out of his face. “You okay, babe?” 

Steve stops and leans over to kiss his husband. “Sorry I woke you. I’m helping Sam with that art installation today, remember?” 

“Oh, yeah. Forgot. Tell him I said hi. And send pictures, I want to see what it looks like.” He pauses. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with? I could help until therapy hour.” 

“I know, but I think it’d be good if you and Wanda spent some time together. Anyways, we’ll be fine. Sharon’s stopping by to help too, and it doesn’t require too much heavy lifting. I’ll send pictures. You have a good day.” He kisses him one more time before heading out the door. “Love you.” 

“Love you too.” Bucky is happy at the prospect of getting to spend the day with Wanda. Since Steve works from home and he doesn’t, they rarely get a whole day with just the two of them. Uninterested in falling back asleep, he gets up to have coffee and send a few emails before getting Wanda up. She rarely gets up on her own. She loves it when they come in to cuddle her before the day starts, and she’ll usually lie in bed awake until they show up. 

Sure enough, Bucky finds her awake, if not still a little drowsy when he goes into her room. He switches the lights on and lowers the guard rail on the side of her bed so he can sit next to her. Wanda moves closer to him so she can curl up in his arms. She sucks on her thumb contentedly while Bucky hums a few songs to her, rubbing circles on her back. “Good morning, beautiful. Did you sleep okay?” 

“Uh-huh. Dreams. Fairies.” 

“You had dreams about fairies? That sounds really nice. I’m glad you had good dreams.” He kisses the top of her head. “Let’s get you dressed now. Do you want to pick or no?” 

“You, please.” Her voice is slightly muffled from having her thumb in her mouth. Bucky tickles her and smiles when she laughs. 

“Okay, hon. Let’s get you dressed and then we’re going to go see Bruce in a little while. You want muffins for breakfast today?” 

Wanda nods, but looks slightly worried. “Make a mess.” 

“Daddy will help you so you don’t get too messy, remember?” Bucky helps her out of bed and smooths her hair back. “I guess I should do your hair too. Do you think I can do it as good as Steve?” 

“Uh-huh! Ponytails.” She grabs two fistfuls of her hair to show him. 

“Ponytails it is. Let’s get you ready.” 

Bucky takes his time getting her ready, never wanting to rush things in the morning. Keeping things as calm and simple as possible helped to keep her happy, and he doesn’t think there’s any point in forcing her to do things faster than she needs to. She still sometimes gets anxious when he undresses her, so he tries to distract her by singing again while she does. He’s never thought he has much of a voice, but Wanda seems to like it. 

“Daddy, play?” She asks as he’s helping her take a few bites of a blueberry muffin. Bucky tucks a few loose strands of hair behind her ears-he’s definitely not as good at doing it as Steve is. 

“Can you try to eat a little more for me, honey? Then we can go play. What do you want to play?” 

“Dance,” she kicks her legs a little, rocking back and forth in the kitchen chair and tapping her hand against the table. Bucky lets her; movement appears to allow her to get some anxiety out. 

“We can dance together. I’ll try not to step on your toes.” 

Wanda grabs a little chunk of the muffin and smashes it over her mouth, shutting her eyes and shaking her head. Bucky sighs and takes both her hands. “Wanda, no. Can you say ‘all done’ if you’re finished?” 

“All done, Daddy. I go dance now. You too.” 

Bucky’s phone buzzes and he recognizes the number as someone from work. “I’ve gotta take this real quick, sweetheart. Why don’t you go figure out what songs you want to dance to and I’ll be with you in a minute.” 

She nods and slides off the chair, running off to her room. She glances behind her shoulder a few times just to make sure that he’s still there. 

Wanda loves her room. It’s soft and warm, full of pink and princess things. She loves her bookshelves, the flower curtains, the mobile above her bed that sends her to sleep, the closet with sparkly stickers on the door. She still isn’t exactly sure what to do with everything she has now. It’s more than she ever owned in her life before put together, and it’s sometimes a little overwhelming. 

There’s a mirror on the wall too, next to wear she keeps all her pretty makeup and nail polish that make her feel like a real princess. Maybe she’s not a real one, but when she rubs on strawberry lipgloss and shimmery eyeshadow, at least she can pretend. 

Wanda stands in front of the mirror, staring at herself. She’s wearing a pretty yellow dress today and sparkly ponytail holders to match. Bucky told her she looked beautiful. 

But Wanda wonders if he was just lying. 

_Be a big girl._

Her mind flashes back to the zoo, her fear at getting in trouble for not being able to go without diapers and how she might be beaten for it again. Wanda swallows hard, trying to imagine her daddy who picked her up and sang her awake that morning could beat her until she bleeds. 

It’s hard to imagine, but Wanda simply can’t take that chance. With some amount of struggling, she manages to get her diaper off and throw it away. She smoothes her dress down and holds her breath. Wouldn’t they be proud of her and not hit her once they realized how good she was at being big? 

 

 

Today Wanda gets to color with Bruce. She makes pictures of…well, she’s not really sure what they’re of. Sometimes they’re not really of things you can see. They’re of how she feels inside, all tangled up and screaming. She drags a red crayon across the blank sheet of paper in front of her, moving it all around in swirls. Then she takes the blue and goes over it in jagged edges, getting faster and more erratic by the minute. 

“How’re you feeling this week, Wanda?” Bruce asks, “Can you use some of those feelings words we talked about?“

Happy. Sad. Scared. Angry. Sometimes, most of the time, she feels them all at once. Mostly scared, though. Definitely scared. 

“Bad,” she says flatly, pressing down hard on the paper. Little flecks of ocean colored wax spread out from the tip of the crayon. 

“Oh? Is there any reason you’ve been feeling bad?” 

“Because.” She can’t think of a real reason and even if there was a real reason, she doesn’t think she’d like to talk about it very much. Today all she cares about is showing she can be big, and not a nuisance, and that there’s no need to hit her. “Went to zoo.” 

“You went to the zoo? That sounds like it must have been fun. Did you see any cool animals?” 

“Tigers.” 

“Did going to the zoo make you happy or sad?” 

“Happy.” It really did, “With Ava.” 

“It’s fun to go places with friends. It sounds like you had a really nice time,” Bruce tells her, “But you said that you felt bad this week too. Can you talk abut that?” 

“No, thank you,” she replies in her politest voice. 

“Can we talk about Mr. U?” 

Silence. 

Wanda doesn’t really know what to say other than, “It hurts.” 

“Can you tell me what hurts?” 

“All over. Right here.” She points to her mouth. “And…and all over.” 

“Can you point to where again?” 

And Wanda looks like she’s about to cry. She scribbles even harder, then crumples the piece of paper up and holds it to her chest. “So many.”   
“What about your brother?” Bruce changes tactics, “Can you tell me about him today?” 

Wanda looks surprised, and loosens her grip on her wadded up drawing. “Pietro.” 

Bruce leans forward. “Pietro? Your brother’s name was Pietro?” 

She nods. 

“Where is Pietro now?”

She grips the red crayon very tightly, then without warning, throws it across the room. She’s quiet after that, and Bruce tells her that she can be done for the day. 

 

 

“Wanda, it’s not nice to throw things,” Bucky tells her. He’s scolded her before, and it’s obvious that he isn’t really chastising her too much this time. Therapy is hard. He knows himself and he’d be a pretty big hypocrite to act like he didn’t understand since he definitely threw a pen in therapy once. Or twice. 

Wanda feels awful now that she’s out and walking along in the park with Bucky. She doesn’t know what to say other than sorry and she didn’t know what else to do and that she promises she’ll go in timeout. Even that all comes out as a jumble. 

“You don’t need to go in timeout this time, but I want you to promise you’ll try not to do that again.” 

“I promise, Daddy.” She really means it. 

“Good girl. Thank you for trying. Why don’t you go play for a little while?” 

There’s a playground and lots of space to run in the park. Wanda really just wants to cuddle with him, but she thinks that maybe this is her chance to prove she’s a big girl. She takes off running, though she doesn’t go far enough so he’s out of her sight. Bucky settles himself on a nearby bench. 

Wanda doesn’t much feel like going over and finding others to play with, so she stays on her own, looking at ladybugs in the grass and picking some dandelions that have sprouted up out of the soil. She blows on one, watching the little white tufts float away in the air. Like fairies. They’re little fairies all flying away and going to a magic place and-

Something’s wrong. 

Wanda freezes, fear gripping her heart. She’s kneeling on the grass and her dress is partly tucked between her legs, which is how she realizes what’s happened. It’s ruined now. 

He’s going to kill her. 

That’s the only logical explanation, isn’t there? 

Wanda weighs her options. She can run away and kill herself, she supposes. That’s one way to get out of it. She can hide forever. She can make herself invisible. 

_Run_. 

But she can’t move. She can only sit there, kneeling with the blades of grass pressing up against her legs, uncontrollable sobs wracking her whole body. She had tried so hard. It had been all she’d thought about. She’d planned and everything, and promised that she was going to be a big girl. When she sees Bucky rushing over to her, she feels like she’s going to be sick. 

“Wanda?” He kneels in front of her, taking both her hands in his. “Are you okay? What hap-“ he stops as he notices. It’s obvious now. He doesn’t look angry, just confused. And then he’s pulling her into his lap, and it’s over. Her plan is over and he knows. 

“Oh, honey,” Bucky kisses her temple, “Oh, honey. Let’s get you home.” 

 

She gets a bath at home, with lots of bubbles and sweet smelling soap. She doesn’t protest against diapers this time when Bucky gets her dressed. She doesn’t have it in her anymore, even as she tries to explain it. 

“Wanted to be big,” she sniffles, “And you wouldn’t hit.” 

Bucky shakes his head. He finishes getting her dressed, kisses her forehead and says, “I think it’s time for your nap.” 

This time, he lays down with her, letting her rest her head on his chest, slightly damp hair splayed out everywhere and thumb in her mouth. Bucky rubs her back and starts to rock her back and forth. The way he always does when he tries to get her to calm down. 

“First of all,” he says, “I am never going to punish you for accidents. Not ever. I am never going to hit you. I promise.” 

Wanda shuts her eyes tight. “You will.” 

“I won’t. And sweetheart…I know that someone hurt you,” he swallows hard. “So I know that me just saying that won’t make you believe it. But I’m gonna promise you anyways because I know that I won’t and I want you to hear it.” 

“Don’t wanna be a big girl.” 

She’s shocked and ashamed of herself for admitting it. It just slips out. 

“That’s okay, sweetie. You know what? You don’t have to be ready to be a big girl. You’re just little, and you need to be looked after, and that’s okay. I’m gonna look after you.” 

Maybe, somewhere deep inside, Wanda starts to believe it just a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Sokovia flashback!
> 
> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/ You can leave me prompts/ideas or messages there or just drop one right here! I talk about this story a lot there since I just like shouting into the void about my own work.
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is The Author. The Author is hungry. Please feed The Author with reviews.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aannnnd finally. Sokovia flashback. 
> 
> Thanks for all your support and patience with me, readers. I haven't been able to update lately because I've been so busy but I promise I will try to make them more frequent and better than before. I appreciate the support very much! 
> 
> Also, I realized that the tags for this story should be updated so please take note before you read further.

_Frost covered the ground overnight, leaving pretty sparkles everywhere when the light hit it just right. It’s early morning and the sun is just barely peeking through puffy, gray clouds, but Wanda can see it and how magical it looks. For a moment, she thinks it just might be pretty and forgets how cold they’re going to be now. When the frost comes, it always gets so cold. She rubs her bare feet against the frozen concrete and pops her thumb in her mouth as if sucking harder will make her less uncomfortable. It works a little bit. It’s a distraction._

_“Wanda, you’re not supposed to be out here by yourself.”_

_She feels a hand on her shoulder and turns. She knows that she isn’t supposed to go off on her own and she usually wouldn’t. But the little window in the basement they live in was letting the sun shine in just a little and it was just large enough so she could see the frost on the ground beginning to glitter under daylight._

_“Sparkles,” she points._

_“I know. It’s going to be colder now. Let’s go, miláčik. I’ll have to get you ready in something warmer.”_

_Wanda doesn’t complain about going back down to the basement to get ready. Her brother always knows how to make things okay._

_The basement of the little apartment building is the most home they’ve had in years. At the very least, it has four walls and a roof, even if those walls can’t keep the cold out and the roof creaks so much that at night, Wanda sometimes lies there awake, terrified and staring up at it waiting for it to fall down on them.Sometimes she whispers to Pietro that she’s afraid they’ll be crushed just like they were before. He always tells her that he would never let that happen, but there’s a tremor in his voice that lets her know he’s a little scared too._

_But he does his best. Within the shaky, concrete basement they have a mattress with a few thinning blankets and a sink and a little stove that lets them cook when they can afford food. On the walls, there are pictures of pretty girls Wanda finds in magazines from marketplace newsstands that she rips out and tapes up. She thinks they look like princesses. Pietro has pictures too, mostly of fast cars he wants to drive someday, and gardens he’d like to have. He keeps telling her that one day they’ll have a garden._

_But for now, they have each other._

_When Pietro goes through his sister’s hair with a broken comb and gets her dressed in her dress and teddy bear sweater to keep her warm, she knows what he’s thinking. It’s not supposed to be like this. But Pietro and Wanda have been prone to strings of bad luck that have landed them here anyways. A bomb that took out their family and everything they knew, leaving them trapped under rubble next to dead bodies for days. Dreary group homes that turned scary when they started to beat you into submission. Generous benefactors who only cared enough to barely keep you alive._

_It’s not like the streets were much better. Not for a brother trying to take care of his sister who was a little, who had no resources or help. Jobs became harder to find after the conflicts started getting worse. Homes were harder to find._

_The basement is the best option they’ve had in ages. The woman who owns the building, Adriana, is letting them do work for her in exchange for rent. It’s not as big as some of the other apartments that tower over Novi Grad and the people who live there aren’t always the easiest to be around-the elderly man who lives upstairs spends most of his time yelling at everyone he meets-but it’s home for now._

_With Wanda ready, Pietro sends her upstairs to work on helping Adriana fix some of the pipes in the walls. She’s a fast learner. She has to be._

_Today, Pietro isn’t going to be spending much time at the apartment building. He’s going off to try and find something else for the day so they can buy food and some other things they need. He kisses his sister goodbye before he waves and takes off. She shivers and leans into his touch, not wanting to ever let him go._

 

_After a few hours, Adriana is feeling tired and tells Wanda that she’s going to go lie down. “Go play until I need you for something else.”_

_Wanda doesn’t have much to do. She wishes Pietro were there so he could play hide and seek with her. The apartment building does have some good places for hide and seek, and Pietro always tickles her when he finds her. She’s not good at hiding, but he lets her pretend that she is._

_With nobody there to play with, Wanda runs down to the basement, ignoring the shouts at her from the old man telling her that she’s a little brat and to knock it the hell off. She does slow her steps though and makes sure to creep down the stairs instead of running._

_In the basement, she has her blanket and her stuffed cat, two keepsakes that Pietro got for her when things were going at least okay. She sits on the mattress and rubs her blanket against her cheek, soft and comforting. It always reminds her of him._

_She’s hungry, but she knows she isn’t supposed to bother Adriana for food. She swings her cat around, trying to ignore the empty feeling in her stomach. It doesn’t really work, and so she’s delighted when she hears Pietro coming down the stairs, calling her name._

_Wanda runs up to hug him. “Adriana’s sleeping.”_

_“Be quiet then,” he puts a finger to his lips. “But listen. I brought someone with me.”_

_Wanda notices two people coming down the stairs behind him. On instinct, she shrinks away and hides behind Pietro, scared of strangers._

_There’s a man in a suit, with several silver rings on his fingers and well-groomed hair. He’s accompanied by a thin, blond woman in a pretty, grey wool coat and painted bright red lipstick on her mouth. Wanda immediately thinks she looks a little like the pictures she has on her walls. The princesses._

_Pietro starts to introduce her. “Wanda, this is…”_

_“Call me Mr. U,” the man says confidently, offering her a smile. “And this is my wife.”_

_“Forget that Mrs stuff. Jocasta,” the blond says, “It’s nice to meet you.”_

_Americans. Wanda can’t help but be surprised; Americans are scarce around Novi Grad. The ones who are there the for the most part are in the Peace Corps, and Mr. U and Jocasta don’t look anything like them._

_“Mr. U offered me a…job,” Pietro says. It sounds like good news, but Wanda knows her brother well enough to tell that he’s a bit hesitant. “In the U.S.”_

_“Our car broke down,” Mr. U explains, “Your brother fixed it in no time. I have a high end dealership in New York City, and I’ve been looking for a new technician. We just happened to be around because my wife is interested in doing some charity work here. Feels like fate, doesn’t it?”_

_Wanda has heard of New York City, but she hasn’t been able to imagine ever going there. It only seems to exist on TV._

_“It’s a really generous offer,” Pietro says, “I just…”_

_“I understand,” Mr. U says smoothly, pulling a card out of his suit pocket, “Think about it and call me. We’ll be leaving in a week, so that should give you plenty of time to think it over. Let me know. I’d be happy to have you on my team.”_

_Pietro takes the card and looks at the embossed writing on it apprehensively. “Thank you. I’ll think about it.”_

 

_Pietro does think about it. While Wanda plays pretend with her blanket and cat later, she listens to them talk it over in hushed tones while they check up on the pipes again. They think that she’s playing in the basement, that she can’t hear them. But she hears everything._

_“Don’t do it,” Adriana says, “You’ve heard stories about people like that. You don’t know anything about them.”_

_“I know. But what if he means it?”_

_“What a chance to take!” Adriana hits something with a wrench. “It’s not just you, it’s your sister. Either he’s lying and some other terrible plans for you two or you’ll just end up in New York City with nothing.”_

_Pietro takes a deep breath. ‘I don’t know if I’d take her with me.”_

_Wanda feels her heart stop._

_“What? Are you crazy? You can’t leave her here. Who’s going to take care of her?”_

_“I thought that maybe you could-“_

_“Forget it. I don’t have the time to do that.”_

_“Neither do I,” he snaps, “Listen. I can go and see if it is what he says it is. And if it’s legitimate, she can come over. That way I won’t be dragging her into the unknown.”_

_“It’s a stupid idea. I told you not to trust these people. They show up, prey on desperate people like you and the next thing you know you’re working for them for nothing. Don’t be an idiot.”_

_Wanda can’t hold it in anymore. She jumps up from the creaky stairwell she’s been hiding in and runs up to her brother, throwing her arms around him. “Don’t leave me!”_

_“Wanda!” Pietro sounds exasperated. “You’re not supposed to eavesdrop.”_

_Wanda starts sobbing, “You’re leaving! Leaving me! I-I’m not gonna see you ever, ever again!”_

_“Don’t be silly,” Pietro’s tone softens as he wraps his arms around her into a hug. “I’m sorry. I’m not leaving you, okay? I’ll never leave you.”_

_Wanda looks up at him with watery eyes. “Promise?”_

_“I promise,” he says firmly, “If I go, I’ll take you with me.”_

 

 

_For a week, Pietro argues with Adriana and with himself while Wanda waits. He asks her if she wants to go, and she says that she doesn’t really care where they go as long as they’re together, which is true. Whether it’s New York or Novi Grad or the moon, she knows her brother will follow her anywhere, and she’ll follow him._

_It’s gotten colder, and at night Pietro hugs her tight to his chest to keep her warm. Wanda burrows into his arms, hiding her face in the crook of his neck, feeling safer and happier than she does anywhere else. His hands stroke through her hair while she sings him songs because she knows that he’s always comforted by that when he’s stressed._

_“You’re so sweet,” he says quietly one night._

_“I love you,” Wanda yawns. She really does. “And I love blanket and kitty.”_

_“I think you love them more than me,” he says jokingly, then sobering his tone, “Wanda, I’ve been thinking about it. About leaving. And I think we should go.”_

_Her eyes widen. “Really?”_

_“I guess we just haven’t had much luck here. It can’t get much worse in New York. Maybe we just need to start over somewhere else. Do you want to go? I won’t go unless you want to.”_

_Wanda doesn’t really think much about it. Wherever he goes, she will too._

_“Okay.”_

 

_Pietro calls Mr. U the next day and tells him about their decision. It’s a quick conversation and he hangs up as soon as he can, as if he’s afraid that he’s going to change his mind if he stays talking to him too long._

_“Stay here and play,” he tells Wanda, “He told me to go meet Jocasta downtown to get things sorted out with visas and that it’s going to be too long for you. Adriana will take care of you.”_

_Wanda understands. She kisses her brother goodbye and waves as he heads out of the basement and deeper into the city._

_Wanda touches the broken walls, the concrete floor, looks up at the cracked ceiling. The mattress seems to take up more space in the room than she remembered. It’s almost like it’s shrinking._

_The pictures on the walls of who she thinks might be princesses smile down at her and Wanda blinks at them. Maybe soon, she’ll be a princess too._

_“Princess,” she tells kitty and blanket, “In a castle.”_

 

_Pietro meets Jocasta downtown outside a restaurant. He’s starving but doesn’t say anything. He just wants to get everything in order so they can leave._

_Jocasta is wearing the same coat she was on the day he met her, but this time, she doesn’t seem as sweet and cheerful. She’s nervous and jumpy, dodging his questions about where they’re going as she leads him through the streets. He should be leading her, he realizes. He’s the one who lives here._

_“Jocasta,” he says finally, “What’s going on?”_

_Jocasta freezes, then turns on her heel to face him, tears in her eyes. Her painted red lips move, with no sound coming out at first. At last, she manages to say, “I can’t do this.”_

_Pietro feels a jolt go through him. “What? Do what?”_

_“This,” her voice cracks, “I’ve seen him do it before and he’ll do it again and I just can’t do it anymore, I just can’t.”  
“What?” Pietro raises his voice, starting to panic, “What the hell is going on?” _

_Jocasta shuts her eyes. “I really did come here because I wanted to help. We have a lot of money. But he insisted on following me and I knew why. He does this. He finds people who are desperate. Uses them for hard, unpaid labor, then disappears and leaves them with nothing. Sometimes they disappear,” she sniffles, “Especially…”_

_Pietro feels like he’s going to pass out. Adriana had been right._

_But he’s finding out now. It’s not too late._

_“Your sister. He’s going to take her too. You have to get her out of there.”_

_Pietro doesn’t listen to anything else. He turns on his heel and runs._

 

 

_Wanda thinks it’s her brother returning early when Mr. U comes in just a few minutes later. He’s alone and has the same welcoming smile plastered across his face that he did when she met him._

_“Where’s that nice lady who owns this place?” He asks her._

_Wanda points up._

_“Can she hear us down here?”_

_“A little.” Not too much, though._

_“I’ll be quiet then,” Mr. U takes a step closer to her, “Are you excited to come with me, little girl?”_

_There’s a bite to his words that sends shivers down her spine. Little girl. She knows she’s little, but the way he says it feels so different from how her brother does._

_“I think you’re so pretty,” he tells her, “You’re like a little princess. Don’t you like princesses?”_

_That perks her up. Is she really pretty? “Really?”_

_“Of course. I wouldn’t lie to you.” He pulls out one of the rickety chairs they have at the just as rickety table to eat at and sits, motioning for her to come forward. “Come here and sit with me, Wanda. I want to take a better look at you.”_

 

 

In New York City, Wanda wakes up with a scream caught in her throat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: An announcement at dance class, feeling unwell, and more flashbacks.
> 
> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://softlyhoping.tumblr.com/ You can leave me prompts/ideas or messages there or just drop one right here! I talk about this story a lot there since I just like shouting into the void about my own work.
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is The Author. The Author is hungry. Please feed The Author with reviews.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for throwing up in this chapter. 
> 
> thank you for all the comments omfg like what

It’s still a little bit dark out. Wanda knows she’s probably not supposed to be awake, that it’s too early. She also knows that if she screams and cries, her daddies will come find her. It’s just that she can’t bring herself to scream. She can’t even bring herself to move. 

She can feel everything. It’s like it’s happening again and there’s still nothing she can do to stop it. Every little shadow looks like him. 

_Get up._

She can’t. It’s too scary. 

Wanda forces herself to turn over, shaking. She half expects to be met with his face inches from hers, ready to grab her and-

She finally sits up straight, so quickly that she takes herself by surprise, and grabs the stuffed animal closest to her. Climbing over the guard rail is hard and she ends up falling on the floor. She cries out, then claps a hand over her mouth. She’s not even sure exactly what it is that she’s scared of right then. He’s not there, is he? 

He could be. She can’t take the chance. 

Wanda runs to the door, flings it open, and runs down the hall to Steve and Bucky’s room. Their door is left slightly ajar, and she can see the two of them still asleep. She freezes in the doorway, afraid of getting in trouble for waking them up.

Maybe she can just stay on the floor. As long as she’s close to them, she can live with that. So Wanda gets on the floor and crawls, curling up at the foot of the bed. She shivers and hugs her bear closer to her chest for comfort. It’s still dark and a little scary, but at least she knows her daddies are right there. She closes her eyes and tries to fall asleep, but finds it suddenly very difficult. Now that the immediate fear from the nightmare isn’t there anymore, she realizes that she doesn’t feel well anywhere. She can’t tell if she’s too hot or too cold, but she knows that it doesn’t feel good. Her head hurts. Her stomach hurts. 

Be quiet. 

She tries to sleep. 

 

 

“Wanda, you know you can come to us at night,” Steve sighs as he finishes packing a few snacks for dance class, “You don’t have to sleep on the floor. Are you sure you’re okay?” 

Wanda nods. She’s slouched at the table, still feeling unwell. She didn’t eat breakfast because of how awful she feels, but Steve seemed to figure that it was just another instance of her being anxious about food and let it go. She hasn’t mentioned how much her head hurts or that she feels so cold and shaky. Maybe she should. 

“Maybe you’ll feel better when you go to dance. Come on, we’d better get going.” 

“Bring Stripes,” Wanda insists. The tiger that Bucky got her at the zoo is exactly what she needs right now. 

“Go get him, then. Is he gonna dance too?” 

Wanda laughs, “Nooo, he roars.” 

“You can roar and dance. Trust me, I’ve done it.” 

Still giggling, Wanda runs to go get Stripes from her room. She shakes her head back and forth quickly as if she can get rid of her icky feeling that way. It doesn’t work. Oh well. Maybe Daddy’s right. Dancing with Ava and Miss Nat is going to be fun. Wanda tucks Stripes underneath her arm and follows Steve out the door. 

It’s so hot and sticky out that Wanda almost immediately feels uncomfortable to a strong degree. The walk isn’t long at all, but by the time they get there, she almost feels like she’s going to simultaneously throw up and pass out. Steve doesn’t seem to notice and just kisses her forehead before ushering her into the studio. “Have fun, princess. I’ll see you when you’re done.” 

Wanda immediately runs to greet Ava, who’s doing stretches by herself in the corner. She gets up to hug Wanda and kiss her forehead just like Steve. “Hi. You brought Stripes.” 

“Uh-huh.” Wanda shows her, “He’s like my daddy.”   
“My daddy’s like a owl,” Ava says, “‘Cause he’s smart and stays up all night long.”

Miss Nat claps her hands to get their attention. “Can everyone come sit down in a circle before we get started, please? We have some really exciting stuff to talk about today!”

Wanda sits next to Ava of course and reaches over to hold her hand. She wonders if Miss Nat is going to tell them that a real princess ballerina is going to come visit them. Then again, Miss Nat might be a real princess ballerina all on her own. 

“Guys, we’re going to start planning our big show,” Miss Nat explains, “You don’t have to be in it, but I definitely encourage it. Everyone gets to dress up and be on stage. It’s a lot of fun, and you can have your caregivers come to see you.” 

Almost everyone else starts chattering excitedly and shouting out questions, but Wanda shrinks back. She loves to dance, but the thought of being on stage is absolutely terrifying to her. Being a famous dancer is only fun when it’s pretend. Ava seems nervous too, and whispers in Wanda’s ear, “I don’t wanna.” 

“Me too.” 

“It’s scary.” 

“We’ll fall down.” 

“They’re gonna laugh.”

And right then and there, they pinky promise that neither one of them is going to go on stage. Wanda tries to think of something else, but it’s hard when it’s all anyone wants to talk about for the rest of the class. By the time it’s over she really doesn’t feel well, and just wants to go home. Before she runs back out of the studio, Miss Nat stops her and Ava. 

“Girls, I noticed you looked a little nervous when I brought up the show,” she says kindly, “I know that it might seem scary and I don’t want you to do it if it’s really too upsetting. But I think you’d have fun if you did. You would get to dance together, too. It wouldn’t be all by yourselves.” 

Wanda bites her lip. “Scary.” 

“I know. But think about it, okay? You might like it.” 

Steve seems equally enthusiastic about the recital. He tells Wanda on the way home that he thinks she’d like doing it. Maybe she would, she thinks. She imagines that she’d like getting to wear a pretty costume and makeup and dance with Ava and her class. But she doesn’t imagine she’d like everyone staring at her. 

“It’s okay,” Steve tells her, “I know you’re a little shy. That’s okay. How about we stop and have our snack here, huh? You must be hungry.” 

Wanda is, but she still feels sick and she doesn’t want to eat in public right now. She keeps looking around, glancing over her shoulder for _him_.

Nobody’s there. 

“Not hungry,” she says, tugging Steve’s hand urgently. “Go.” 

“Baby, you have to eat something.” 

Wanda can’t help it anymore and she starts to cry. Steve immediately pulls her close. “Hey, hey. I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I’m sorry.” 

“My head,” she sobs into his chest. 

“Your head hurts?” 

“Every-everything. All over.” She can barely get her words out. Something’s happening. 

“Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. You’re not feeling well, are you?” Steve picks her up, “I think you need some water and a nap and then we’ll see how you feel when you wake up. Come on, let’s go home.”

 

As soon as they get home, Steve lays Wanda down and gets her out of her leotard, tights, and skirt, putting her in an oversized street with characters from Sesame Street on it instead. He takes her hair out of the two pigtails he usually puts it up in and lets it fall loose around her shoulders and goes to fill one of her bottles with water. Wanda doesn’t feel much better physically, but she definitely feels less anxious when she curls up in Steve’s lap in the rocking chair in her room. The lights are off and the curtains are almost completely closed, so the lighting is dim with just a little bit of daylight streaming through. All she can hear is the soft whirring of the fan above them. Wanda closes her eyes and sucks on the silicone of the bottle when he holds it up to her, but can’t help but let a little whine escape her mouth. She cried the whole way home and she still feels like crying now. 

“Oh, you’re a fussy girl. I know. I know.” Steve pats her back, “I’ve got you. Try to rest a little bit, honey.” 

She’s so hot. It’s so hazy. His voice seems so distant. 

 

_Wanda isn’t really sure what’s happening._

_She hears Pietro raise his voice. She hears Mr. U raise his voice right back. She runs to her brother. She feels someone grab her arm and pull her away._

_She hears, sees, feels the shot ring out._

_She sees her brother not moving on the floor and she’s screaming. She’s screaming and crying and kicking. She doesn’t stop, not even when Mr. U grabs her shoulder and whispers in her ear, “We’re going, little girl. Stop that now.”_

_She doesn’t think she’ll be able to stop screaming ever again._

 

When Wanda wakes up this time, there’s no scream caught in her throat. She wakes up in bed shrieking sobs and thrashing everywhere. She has to get away. She has to-

Her door slams open and suddenly she’s back in Steve’s arms again. It doesn’t calm her down. 

“Wanda, baby it’s okay. I’m here, I’m here. Calm down for me, sweetheart. Deep breaths,” Steve says, “You’re okay. You’re safe, I promise. Daddy won’t let anything hurt you.” 

Wanda can’t talk through her sobs. She doesn’t know if she can talk at all. She clings to him for a brief moment, then pulls back and claps a hand over her mouth. Steve seems to know and grabs a small trashcan in the corner, thrusting it towards her just as she throws up. He shakes his head and pulls her hair back away from her face. “Sweetheart. You really must not have been feeling well. Come here.” He puts the back of his hand to her forehead and winces, “You’ve got a fever. No wonder you’ve been fussy today. Lie down, babygirl. I’m gonna be right back.” 

Wanda doesn’t have the energy or words to argue, but she can still cry. As soon as Steve leaves the room she’s doing her best to beg him to come back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Wanda is sick, but she has two great daddies to take care of her.
> 
> If you'd like, find me on Tumblr: https://fairydelight.tumblr.com/ You can leave me prompts/ideas or messages there or just drop one right here! I talk about this story a lot there since I just like shouting into the void about my own work.
> 
> New url and new username here :O
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ This is The Author. The Author is hungry. Please feed The Author with reviews.


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